MIL

[Molly2008]

So I invited MIL for dinner Saturday to say thank you for minding DC whilst we were away.

She asked what I was cooking said I wasn't sure she suggested a BBQ and I have since agreed. She what she could bring as I said bring a bottle and some crisps / nibbles.

She now asked if she can bring fish kebabs and a tomatoe salad knowing I don't eat fish.

For some reason this has really annoyed me as I feel like she's basically trying to plan the whole thing. So AIBU / over sensitive. She's just being generous not trying to dictate what I cook etc

Oh Fgs , she minded your kids and is bringing food and she's bringing what she wants to eat without you needing to cater for her. Actually I think it's you who has a cheek, asking her to bring a bottle even though you are making out like this is a thank you to her.

No, I didn't. But there wouldn't be a BBQ if OP hadn't invited her MIL for a meal.

If you are going to bring something, whether flowers, drink or food, it should be something your HOST enjoys too.

Exactly!!

This

She's just being generous. Not trying to dictate what I cook etc.
You need to read what you have written. I'm struggling to see your problem here.
MIL does you a big favour which you want to thank her for but end up bitching about her🤔

Shes bringing a contribution that she knows you wont think to make. You can still eat your burgers. Its just an addition

This seems ok to me. Maybe you are being oversensitive because in the past she has been somewhat pushy.

Every BBQ I have been to has been a selection of different items. Very different to taking 1 pasta dish to someone that hates pasta.

The OP has offered to do a bbq to say thank you for the MIL help. The bbq is clearly for the family (MIL, OP, OP’s DH and their DC).

In our house, we often have some that eat red meat, some that only eat chicken and fish and a vegetarian. Usually everyone brings the things the things they like so I don’t have the cost of buying for different requirements. My guests do it to help me, not to piss me off.

This isn’t a big bbq. It’s for Op, DH, MIL and kids.

And OP didn’t offer to do a bbq, she invited MIL for dinner and MIL asked for a bbq and OP agreed.

For a small family bbq, it’s not very nice for MIL to contribute a dish she knows OP won’t eat.

Maybe she’s offering to bring fish since you don’t like it and so are unlikely to buy it?
She’s not saying you have to eat it. Maybe other people might like some too?

Doesnt seem at all like something to get worked up about.

Now if she came totally empty handed, that’s rude.

It’s an odd “bring”, I suppose - a bottle of wine or a cheesecake would be more within the realms of “I’ve brought a contribution”! But it sounds like she means well.

Im glad you see it as well. The OP invited the MIL for dinner and that shiukd have been that. But then the MIL asked what they were having, OP wasnt sure so suggested BBQ. MIL asked what she could bring and was told bottle and nibbles. MIL then asks if she can bring fish kebabs. TBH it would piss me off, I mean who asks what they're having for dinner in advance when someone asks you over.

Totally agree Pinkbits.

If MIL wants a bbq she could have just had one at hers.

I think she's only offering this as she knows you won't be making it as you don't like it, and she does.
I don't think she's trying to take over tbh...

Some of you lot must be exhausted with the effort of being offended all the time. MIL minded the children (so more than one) while the OP went on holiday. So what if she fancies a bbq and wants to bring a bit of bloody fish she would enjoy?
A more normal response among my friends/family would be to say ‘a bbq, mil? Perfect! How about I trot to Waitrose ( or wherever) and make up some prawn kebabs, or salmon? ‘ . I’ll get you a special bottle of wine to go with that 🙂

She might not be taking it for the op. She might be taking it for herself. Which is what I would do

Knowing you don't eat fish, maybe she'd like some fish and doesn't want to ask you to buy / prepare it