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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Trainee TA help

16 replies

Motherland2624 · 20/06/2024 12:01

Hi šŸ‘‹ I was wondering if anyone could help me as I’m very new to this world
this year I went back to colllege to start a teaching assistant course 30 years out of the classroom I’ve really enjoyed my placement and all the staff I’ve met until today
i do ask a lot of questions as i want to make sure im doing the right thing when i first started i noted a form of discipline that I didn’t think was around anymore (humiliation) was told it was normal for this head so just carried on last week some teachers asked me how i was doing after my assessment what I thought of the school and the head al good although i did mention i personally found him intimidating I think I did wrong here
today he has took me into his office and started interrogating me standing over me telling me he has taken me in as a student I should be grateful and not talking about him then asked me to leave
i just want to know what to do now he intimidated me a lot how can I improve for the future do I not ask questions???

OP posts:
Crokepark · 20/06/2024 12:04

What do you mean humiliation? Do you mean just a verbal telling off?

Motherland2624 · 20/06/2024 12:06

He made the child stand in assembly whilst everyone was sitting because he wasn’t joining in with the prayers

OP posts:
Abigaillovesholidays · 20/06/2024 12:07

Asking questions was not the problem. His problem was that you had said to his staff that you find him intimidating.

Motherland2624 · 20/06/2024 12:10

Abigaillovesholidays · 20/06/2024 12:07

Asking questions was not the problem. His problem was that you had said to his staff that you find him intimidating.

Ok thank you they were all telling me their opinions on him so I guess I felt comfortable saying that when they asked hopefully going foward next year with a different placement I will do better

OP posts:
MatildaTheCat · 20/06/2024 12:17

Use this as a learning experience that you absolutely need to choose your words with care. Somebody chose to feed that back to the head so that demonstrates that you don’t necessarily know who is close to who.

Good luck going forward. He sounds very unpleasant

Beryls · 20/06/2024 12:37

Slagging off the head to his staff as a trainee who I presume has not been there for very long was a silly idea.

You don't go into a workplace and start questioning the things they do as a trainee with very little experience in that area. Unless you see something which is a safeguarding incident just keep it to yourself.

You may find him intimidating, although I don't know the reason for this, but to me it sounds like you've been badmouthing him to staff which will not go well.

Just keep yourself to yourself, jusy be friendly and take feedback on board.

Motherland2624 · 20/06/2024 12:40

Beryls · 20/06/2024 12:37

Slagging off the head to his staff as a trainee who I presume has not been there for very long was a silly idea.

You don't go into a workplace and start questioning the things they do as a trainee with very little experience in that area. Unless you see something which is a safeguarding incident just keep it to yourself.

You may find him intimidating, although I don't know the reason for this, but to me it sounds like you've been badmouthing him to staff which will not go well.

Just keep yourself to yourself, jusy be friendly and take feedback on board.

Oh no I wasn’t badmouthing him another member of staff told me. Little girl wet herself when she saw him in the corridor and I just said well yes he is intimidating to me too i understand what I have done wrong now and will definitely learn from it thank you

OP posts:
TipsyKoala · 20/06/2024 12:46

Sorry you've had a bad experience. I personally don't think that commenting that you find him intimidating was slagging him off. I'm surprised a staff member would be so petty as to run off and tell the head. He sound horrible by the way. It doesn't sound like a nice environment for your placement anyway so maybe find another one. Also discuss what happened with your tutor.

sleekcat · 20/06/2024 12:48

I work in schools as supply. It's not a good idea to voice opinions on other members of staff, the head or the school in general as a temporary member of staff. You don't really know what the staff relations are like.

Children at my schools are often made to sit somewhere else in assembly, usually with an adult and away from the other children. I've seen them asked to stand in class when everyone else is sitting. This is generally for talking when asked not to.

KillerTomato7 · 21/06/2024 05:06

Abigaillovesholidays · 20/06/2024 12:07

Asking questions was not the problem. His problem was that you had said to his staff that you find him intimidating.

It’s not generally a good sign when an admin’s response to someone calling them intimidating is to intimidate them.

Nor is it a great sign for the school culture when a staff member asks the new trainee for their first impressions, then goes running off to inform the head of their answer. You only score points with your boss that way if your boss is petty and insecure.

GRex · 21/06/2024 05:43

Motherland2624 · 20/06/2024 12:40

Oh no I wasn’t badmouthing him another member of staff told me. Little girl wet herself when she saw him in the corridor and I just said well yes he is intimidating to me too i understand what I have done wrong now and will definitely learn from it thank you

This description keeps changing. In this version you actually said to a young student, not a teacher, that the head was intimidating. It was clearly not in a shared experience conversation either, as previously stated. Then there's the factual issue; how did you know that a little girl having an accident was related to the head and not being late getting to the toilet? Toileting accidents can happen with little ones. Wetting due to fear is much more extreme and very unusual.

Based just on your few posts here, it looks to me as though you aren't particularly thoughtful, nor particularly truthful, and you were sacked for directly criticising the head to a young student in a public corridor. That's rather different than the faux naive "because I asked questions".

Saucery · 21/06/2024 06:11

As part of your Safeguarding induction you should have been informed of the correct way to report staff behaviour that makes you uneasy, however minor. It needs to go to the DSL or Dep DSL, not be shared around staff and never with pupils (if you did say to a child you found the Head intimidating that is completely unacceptable).

Motherland2624 · 21/06/2024 06:41

GRex · 21/06/2024 05:43

This description keeps changing. In this version you actually said to a young student, not a teacher, that the head was intimidating. It was clearly not in a shared experience conversation either, as previously stated. Then there's the factual issue; how did you know that a little girl having an accident was related to the head and not being late getting to the toilet? Toileting accidents can happen with little ones. Wetting due to fear is much more extreme and very unusual.

Based just on your few posts here, it looks to me as though you aren't particularly thoughtful, nor particularly truthful, and you were sacked for directly criticising the head to a young student in a public corridor. That's rather different than the faux naive "because I asked questions".

Sorry for confusing I’m not being untruthful another TA was asking me what I thought of head I told her and she agreed and told me of a instance of a student wetting herself when she encountered him

OP posts:
GRex · 22/06/2024 07:14

Motherland2624 · 21/06/2024 06:41

Sorry for confusing I’m not being untruthful another TA was asking me what I thought of head I told her and she agreed and told me of a instance of a student wetting herself when she encountered him

You just can't get your story straight. So now another member of staff was telling you in private that he is so terrifying that small girls wet themselves, you agreed he can be intimidating, she told the head and that is what got you sacked??? No, that very clearly isn't how it happened.

There is no point in starting up a thread and then constantly changing your story. If you want feedback, then you need to be clear and honest about exactly what you said, where and to whom. Even just try being honest with yourself, that would be a good start.

parentfodder · 22/06/2024 07:24

@GRex

The story hasn't changed, she was talking with another staff member about the head and said she found him intimidating. She then added context that the staff member was a ta who had mentioned a little girl wetting her self in fear and her response to that was she also found him intimidating.

Op he sounds awful and the staff sound catty. Be glad it's not a permanent role. Do you have a tutor at college you can speak to for support? Does this head have to write a report of your time there?

Next time don't be negative about other staff unless you are extremely confident you can trust them. And even then I wouldn't do it on school premises (where you could be overheard ) or in written form. Better to vent to family or friends unconnected to your work.

Butteredtoast55 · 22/06/2024 07:45

@GRex
There's no need for such an aggressive response. The OP's account was pretty clear and hasn't been 'constantly changing'. I don't think she's been sacked either, just asked to leave the room.

OP, unfortunately there are some heads and teachers like this who are on a power trip, frankly. You are a new, inexperienced TA and there are better ways to talk to you about confidentiality and conduct (or what may appear to be questioning his judgement) if this is a concern.

In a new setting, take time to watch, listen and observe how things are done. You may disagree with them and there will be appropriate ways to raise concerns, even low level concerns, during safeguarding training or in the policy. In my training we use a fictional case study of a new, apprentice TA who has concerns about a senior member of staff. We discuss how hard it is for such people to report so you're not alone.

However, be careful about the casual conversations with colleagues that seem straightforward. In a long career in education I have learnt that they can all too easily come back and bite you on the bum.

With regard to the questions, make sure you're listening more than talking, that you've read policy and handbook documents carefully and that you seek advice from the right sources, i.e. your mentor or the really strong and experienced staff. Good luck - TAs are golden and you will make a real difference to children so keep going!

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