Young kids out late

[Mamabear04]

To be honest I'm just wondering how it's possible for young kids under 5 to stay out late. Every time I go out to a restaurant or even just on the bus I think to myself, "how do OP do it?" I have a 4 year old and a 2 year old and don't think they could handle being out past 6.30pm, I think they would just have a meltdown out of tiredness. Is it a cultural thing? Am I missing something?

There’s an element of personality and an element of training I’d say. My eldest has intense FOMO and has always been hard work to get to bed and will stay up pretty late. My youngest is now 6 and just about able to stay up when we push him to. But certainly between the ages of 1 and 5 years would just need his bed at 7. You could set a watch by him, wherever we are, home or in a restaurant or at a party, come 7pm he will just ask to go to bed. I remember at 18 months old on bonfire night we’d finished dinner and started to put coats on to go see the fireworks and he cried and cried and tried to go upstairs to bed and we made him go out in his pram to watch the fireworks. I felt so mean when I realised he just wanted to go to bed but I’d promised his 5 year old sister the fireworks so we had to go. He was asleep by the end of the road!

My oldest could handle late nights from when she was a baby, but she's always been a night owl and started staying up til midnight on New Year's Eve when she was 4. My youngest could not handle staying up past 8 as a toddler, would be an absolute mess, but then we had to do a train journey when he was 3 that meant staying up past 10 at the train station to catch the train. Since then he'd handled the odd late night ok, and now at 6 will happily stay up til 9 or 10 if I let him but probably not later. Going to let him stay up and watch the footy with me tonight (on at 7 here)

DS was a rubbish sleeper as a baby but was sleeping 6.30pm to 6.30am at about 2. Fine by us as I like an evening to myself and we had to be up at 7 anyway.

Sometimes kids sleep better if they go to bed earlier and sometimes they don't. Clearly if he was waking up at 4.30am I would have tried a later bed time...I'm not an idiot.

He would have been fine staying up late on the odd night out but that's just his personality as he's quite chilled, I think.

We used to get them to have a nap or at least quiet time in their room on their bed for a couple of hours if we were either on holiday or going out for a family dinner. It helped a lot.

What I find more "interesting" is primary school age kids at about 8-9pm on weekdays in my local 24h Asda shopping with their mums. It's a regular occurrence, whenever I go there after work

Personally a late night and a tea time nap would be my perfect pattern! DS is a night owl like me and always was. He was good though and even at 5/6 if he couldn't sleep he would just get up and build Lego or play with his figures, making up stories.

@nearlylovemyusername why? School doesn’t start until 9am in most uk. So many kids can sleep until 8am. Most primary age only need 9-10 hrs sleep, so 9.30pm-7.30am would give 10hrs. 10pm-7am for those who don’t need much sleep. Loads of time.

I guess they're all different.

Mine all went to bed at 8.30-9 and slept to 7 in the school year and a little later during holidays.

I could safely take them out for a meal as long as we were home before 8. In summer, we often went for an evening swim around 6, home by 8.

Kids out and about on busses, hanging out on streets with parents, out doing late night shopping - I think that's down to a chaotic parental lifestyle rather than a response to children's sleep patterns.

Yes to this.
My mum used to have us all bathed and in our pajamas by 6 pm. We'd be dispatched to bed shortly after, under protest, and would spend hours calling for drinks of water or whatever. Ridiculous! She remarked on how late my DCs went to bed but also on the fact that they fell asleep easily and there was none of the drinks/ loo/ need a cuddle nonsense that stretched for hours. Never put two and two together...

Good point.

I also wonder about 'quiet time' and how it might affect the body clock. I always did quiet time as a replacement of the afternoon nap and also because summer temps here can be brutal. My DCs could read or watch TV in the AC indoors, 'water the plants' with the garden hose, or we would go to the air conditioned library and spend a couple of hours reading and choosing books. If we went to the local pool our outings were before 1pm or after 5 pm, to avoid the worst of the UV rays and the heat exhaustion.

What does "interesting" mean?

I imagine this is because primary school aged children can't be left at home alone but the shopping needs to be done and if mum works, this is th etime slot?

My primary school child comes iwth me to collet my secondary aged child from his activity at 8:30. Is that "interesting" to you?

Kids out and about on busses, hanging out on streets with parents, out doing late night shopping - I think that's down to a chaotic parental lifestyle rather than a response to children's sleep patterns.

We are lucky enough not to need wraparound chidcare. But lots of friends and parents on the school run, not so much. I know lots of families can't get home much before 6:30, later if they're relying on public transport. A single mum I know has three children and doesn't drive so if she wants to take one to football, they all have to walk/take the bus. I've seen her getting off the bus on her way back at 7:30, with all three kids, regularly. I don't judge her for that and it's not a chaotic lifestyle.

6.30 is v early. I don't know any of her friends go to bed that early. My dd be ok till 9pm. She normally in bed at 8pm but you can extend if needed. She sleeps till 7 ish.

6.30 was dinner time here, DD wasn't in bed before 8pm most days.

Reason - we work and weren't home before 6pm

And yes, we did took her for dinner the odd day under the week but hardly The Ritz, more Zizzis.

If DD would have been in bed at 6.30, she would have been up at 4-5am. With 8pm she was awake around 6-6.30am.

I definitely think it’s a mix of culture and habit. My children could/still can sleep through a war zone so we would often be out for dinner with a one year old fast asleep in the pram. We’ve also been to weddings with the kids small and the same thing has happened. I have never been strict with routines, there are enough of those imposed out of the home! My children have grown up being around lots of people, sometimes till late at night. DH and I both work long hours Mon-Fri so we rarely leave the house during the week unless it’s to kids activities. But weekends and school holidays we enjoy a social life, as do our children.

Last year on Halloween I was driving home at 10:15pm from work and on the way home I saw a mum with a 3 year old kid doing trick n treating. What a stupid time to do it, esp with a kid

I don't think that's any better.

6pm we're walking through the door, I can't imagine dealing with tantrums and her immediately.

Mine too, used keep up til midnight waiting for me to sleep🙈

Ds football class for 4-5 year olds is from 5.45-6.30pm. None of the kids seem at all tired when finished