Birthday as a parent

[CherryDrops89]

Is it common to not do anything with your significant other for your birthday when you have children? We don't have family to help, nursery staff don't offer babysitting and we don't want to use agencies, so birthdays get celebrated with kids on a kid level, but not like adults without children. Is this what others do?

No. You need to keep time for yourselves as adults not just parents . Go out with your mates if you can’t go out together .
or do something once kids in bed and you’re downstairs alone if you won’t pay for a babysitter .

I have not celebrated my birthday without dc since they were born - we do go out without them at other times, but tbh I wouldn’t want to have a birthday treat they didn’t include them.

sounds like your child is still very young. In a few years’ time they can do sleepovers with their friends and/ or you will feel more comfortable leaving them with sitters.

When they were very young yes, but then we used babysitters

When they are babies yes, that's kinda the deal. Everything else gets subsumed for a couple of years.

By the time they're 2 - 3 then you should be good to send the to grandparents and have a night away, or at least get a sitter in and go do something grown up as a couple.

Ours are 7 and 8, DW and I always do a family thing on the closest weekend to the birthday and then palm the kids off to GP for a couple of days in the week and clear off ourselves for some grown up time.

They are 4 and 6, its not for not wanting to leave them but will never be comfortable with the idea of agency sitters. Just thinking about it and wondering if others are in the same position, feel like we are the only ones sometimes, everyone we know has help or isn't fussed about going out

Yeah.
we usually do cake & presents after school with kids. When they’ve gone to bed then a takeaway and a film, maybe a drink.
it’s very, very rare we get a babysitter and go out.

We had 2 birthday meals when our kids were little. One meal out with them to eg a pizza place, and also a dine in for £x deal with a bottle of wine one evening, just the two of us.