..to feel like I bore dh

[Bananasontoast2]

I’m quite passionate about life. Love learning and experiencing new things.

whenever I try to chat to dh about things that excite me (usually medical
science related or sports), he just falls silent and doesn’t reply. However if he talks about his interests, I engage and show interest.

aibu to feel completely shit and lonely

Have you spoken to him about this? Asked why he doesn’t reply, told him how it makes you feel?

No advice but I sympathise. I feel like this quite often with DH. Sometimes we can have a good long chat if he's in the right mood, otherwise I might as well talk to the cat!

It is frustrating and upsetting sometimes when I just want to share something I'm excited about. But we're very different people and I couldn't listen to him bang on about his sports for ages either tbh (not that he ever does, thankfully...)

My DH can be a bit like this. It’s annoying, isn’t it?

What did you talk about before you got married?

Men are a bit shit, does he make up for it by bringing more money into the house?

Do you talk to him or at him?

Some women are a bit shit too. Do some women make up for it by bringing more into the house? What’s anyone’s earning power got to do with it anyway?

@TigerWhiskers - I’m not sure I want to be looking into the earning power to negate conversation.

@DoreenonTill8 - I absolutely don’t talk at him but try and spark conversation.

So, to be clearer..it’s not always about my interests only. I try and ask him about his. I enquire as to his hobbies and how it’s going, any updates etc. If it’s his hobby related, I may get a small reply. But if it’s a mutual conversation concerning general worldly subjects, he just zones out. He’s not at all interested in the world around him, and I think that’s probably where my frustrations lie.

@VestPantsandSocks - before marriage, we spoke about building, property etc as that’s what we did back then. We’ve been married 25 years so that was a fair few years ago!

🤣

He just sounds really boring actually. There are plenty of boring people about and unfortunately you have married one!

What's your family situation and home situation like? Do you have plenty of friends who you can talk to? What are the good things about your husband?

Not sure that it is entirely fair to label someone as a 'bore' just because they are not one of life's 'talkers'. Perhaps he is a 'doer' instead? We don't all want to feed the air with empty words and talk incessantly about vaccuous, inane, banal subjects - not suggesting that OP's conversation is on this level though, before I get jumped on!
But I do understand that OP feels frustrated by her husband's lack of engagement - my partner would probably describe me similarly, but when the subject matter is sport, tv, what bargains there are in the shops et al, I 'zone out' as these are things which are of no interest to me and I have nothing useful to contribute. I am aware that I irritate my partner sometimes by my lack of engagement, but don't know what to do about it - I can't force myself to chatter about subjects I have no knowledge of and am naturally a quiet, reserved personality anyway, and often want peace and quiet. I am autistic and find constant noise, conversation and vocal engagement overwhelming.But I have many, many interests, hobbies and enjoy learning, spending quiet time, in quiet places, doing quiet things with quiet people. I would not consider myself a 'bore', except to those whose idea of excitement is being loud, vocal, extrovert and, to me, 'in your face'.Not every silence has to be filled.

Not sure what I am trying to say, really, but I do sympathise with @Bananasontoast2, even if I am probably more akin to her husband! I hope that you are able to find resolution OP, I really do.

Can’t quite decide if you’re being funny or stupid.

Honestly, OP, if someone talked regularly to me about sport, I would murder them and bury their body under the patio.

What do you mean by talking about medical science? Are we talking developments in oncology, artificial knees, lab instruments?

How do you go about chatting to him? My ex made similar complaints but he didn't actually try to have a 2 way conversation with me, he lectured me on his chosen topic, so even if I was interested to start with I'd totally tuned out by the time there was a pause for me to contribute.

You’re a savage 🤣🤣🤣

I never lecture. I try and talk about his interests. Always about his hobbies etc. He just is a bit meh about everything. I guess we are all different. I’m excited about life and him less so.

I never go on about my interests, I’m not egocentric or arrogant in thinking that my interests are the be all and end all. I’m keen to learn about others. About their thoughts and interests. I love learning. I just don’t get the same level of interest. In fact. There’s no interest

Nothing stupid about this.