Do most women post 40/45 yrs dislike their body?

[Existentialtimes]

I'm 54, post-menopausal. I'm not overweight, but despite working out a lot, I don't look particularly muscly. I have a little belly and a biggish bum because of all my glute work, and thighs that have cellulite and a little thick. I was overweight in my teens, hit my fitness stride at 29, lost tons of weight, looked my absolute best and thinnest in my thirties...and then had kids etc...

That's the background.

Today, I went to find a new swimming costume. Looking at a three way mirror in M&S, I could have cried. I just hated what I saw. I'd love to practise self-love but I just can't. I hate being so shallow. I want to be grateful that I'm fit and well, but Instead all i feel is self-loathing.

We all age.
I often remind myself just how amazing my body is and am thankful for the journey we've been on.

I was never drop dead gorgeous forty years ago , but I'm really not aging well now and I swear my nose has grown a bit!
I hate my hammer toe and weird feet too
I wished I had normal nice feet. I really loath my feet and I can't wear nice shoes. It Sucks.

A large portion of my crises of confidence have been in M&S changing rooms. Brutal.

That, and fuck the patriarchy.

I hate mirrors too and I never try anything on in changing rooms. Too brutal

M&S mirrors are evil.

I agree. I leave their changing rooms wanting to die!
But not all are like that. I think Next abd Fat Face have low lighting and flattering mirrors.

M&S like to give with one hand and take away with the other

On the one hand you have their vanity dress sizing which keeps us all thinking we're a size 10 and on the other hand they have 3 way mirrors and bright lights in the fitting rooms!

I'm 49 now and know my body doesn't look as good as it did when I was under 45 but still feel grateful to be fit and healthy

Honestly I don’t care.

I’m 51. I’m in OK shape for my age, I exercise a lot. I’m not thin (life’s too short) but not overweight. I look reasonably ok in clothes and my partner finds me attractive.

I consider myself very fortunate never to (yet) have had any serious health problems and my body largely still does what I need it to do. It’s good enough for me.

I can’t be arsed creating anxiety for myself worrying about failing to live up to an ideal that was unrealistic 20 years ago. I just consider myself lucky to have health.

I voted that you were being unreasonable. Objectively some may say my body is not aesthetically pleasing. It's old it's saggy it's got way too many scars, and it no longer works very well.

I say, its got me through one pregnancy and three rounds of cancer.

I think my body is just grand. I don't give a monkey's what anyone else thinks, my body has done wonderful things.

No

Wasn’t there a shop once where you could change the lighting in your cubicle?? Might have been H&M! Still wasn’t great !

I’m 65 and really happy with mine, tbh 😊

In nearly 40 and I'm quite proud of my body. I do eat and probably drink too much but I run daily and am always rushing about generally..
My face on the other hand 😅

I don't give shit, still allve Woooo

Through ageing and illness and the terminal illness of friends I have come to appreciate what my body can still do

Great. Well, what secondary sexual characteristics men may fancy, and the kind of porn they pay to wank over, is really a reason for women to feel content with their own bodies.🙄

Great reply.

If the picture in my mind is of some model my self-critic thinks I "should" resemble, or of myself 25 years ago, then I'm prone to finding my real and present body unsatisfactory.

If I've remembered who I am before looking at the mirror, then I see a somewhat chunky and puffy, slightly wrinkled woman who looks okay, considering age and health.

"Okay considering" is fine by me! I keep telling that inner critic; she'll cotton on eventually 😄

You sound perfect as you are. Sometimes our mind plays tricks on us. I bet you’re beautiful. I’m 40. Just had my 3rd child and my body looks crazy compared to what it was. Hopefully I’ll be back to normal soon. But until then I try not to let the negative thoughts creep in.

I love this. I work out a reasonable amount but I’m waiting for it to catch up with me.

Any recommendations for at home Pilates? I do one class a week but there’s no more here!

I’m 55. Carrying a bit of extra weight, I have generous thighs, a little round tummy, but a small waist. I love my body and so do the men I sleep with.

I have a set routine I do which combines weights and Pilates, but not found a good one on YouTube yet. I’m going to start the search this summer as our classes stop term time. Sorry no great insight

I'm naturally inclined to be happy with my body. I had DS on the cusp of 30, huge bump, EMCS, rather unpleasant birth and in the early months hated the flabby, wrinkled overhang and scar that kept reminding me about the way the birth spiraled. I decided to get a high waisted bikini because fuck it, I was not going to hide my body away out of shame for some random body standard for the next 50+ years.

He's now a teenager. I'm at peace with the flabby overhang. Currently losing a few surplus lbs because they're not doing my body any good, and chuffing nora the chaffing when running! I want to keep my body well nourished, strong and moving and maximise its healthy, active years. Health and exercise are self-care to me, not punitive.

There's a lot more aging to go- hopefully, because there's fates worse than aging at this stage of life. DH is in his 50s and refocusing on health, nudged partly by the ailing health and premature deaths of too many colleagues, and he's one of the few in his middle-aged, male-heavy workplace without a substantial pot-belly.

Resect what your body does for you. Make it feel good.
accept that trendy floral midi-length sacks do nothing to enhance my strong, sturdy legs

I think a huge number of women dislike their bodies, it's ingrained in us from a young age that we need to look a particular way that is unattainable for the vast majority due to genetics.

I was out running with 2 friends recently, both slim and fit, and we got onto the topic of our bodies. They both loathe theirs, despite being in better shape than 95% of the population. I also loathe mine (anorexia as a teen, self-loathing never really went away). It's awful, why are we like this?

Kids fuck your body up. I’ve had to remove mirrors from my house because otherwise I start crying. I just keep thinking how beautiful I used to be only a couple of years ago.

Society, men, constant perfect bodies in media, underwear models, porn, mens obsession with youth, famous women etc

It's awful. But when I look around me, and I work all over in cities and towns etc, most people are average, aging normally, rarely see anyone who looks like what we are shown on tv and magazines, and so many are overweight. I hate to see so many women feeling bad. We are amazing, more amazing with each passing year as our confidence, wisdom and experience grows. It's so weird that many don't see and appreciate that and just judge on how fuckable and impregnatable we are. We shouldn't be feeling bad about unimportant shit like this. We are only here for a short blip of time. We are alive!