Dad play date friend

[Muffincupcakeheeler]

I'll try keep this short, I suffer with really bad anxiety and social situations I'm under a mental health team so I was made up when I met a new friend who lives down the road I'm a stay at home mum and he's a stay at home day we both have 6month old boys so it seemed perfect, we've been for a couple of walks and out for a coffee but he comes across quite flirty, he's married and I'm very happily married but recently he's been sending me texts suggesting that he would want to do more with me that doesn't involve the babies which has made me feel quite uncomfortable it wasn't to bad when I thought he was just joking but I've got a feeling he's not, my partner doesn't seem bothered about the things he's saying and says I've got 2 choices to talk to him about it being inappropriate or to just block him but I was made up to finally have a friend and even more so that my baby has a little friend but I've got a feeling that if I carry on the play dates he's going to make a move or it's going to cause trouble which I don't want.

Aibu to just block him and hope I don't bump into him as I struggle with confrontation and don't know how to approach him regarding his behaviour

The other day when I went out with him he stopped behind me whilst we were walking and said sorry I just had to look at that arse.

Well your update changes things..... I would not tolerate comments like the one above. You cannot be friends with this man, he is not a friend to you, he's just hoping for an affair opportunity.

You will have to be direct with him. You can message him to say his comments make you feel uncomfortable, you won't meet him again and you don't want him to contact you again. Then block. You do not owe him any more of an explanation.

It doesn't matter what he thinks about this, you won't be speaking to him again anyway. If he ever approaches you just ask him to leave you alone and walk away. I doubt he will make too much fuss in case his wife finds out.

The other day when I went out with him he stopped behind me whilst we were walking and said sorry I just had to look at that arse.

I'm really sorry OP but you need to drop this friendship, block him and avoid him in future. Do not socialise with him, with or without the baby.

Your choices are not "him or no-one".

Instead you need to keep working on your social anxiety so you can start to socialise in a group with other women whch is safe, and then maybe start to identify the nicer ones and make friends with them. So you don't have to rely on just socialising with an individual man which is much more risky.

Your standards are ridiculously low. I could maybe accept it if he tried ONE comment and she very clearly did not respond, but multiple? He's disgusting and entitled.

OP your boundaries do also need work I'm afraid. If a man made one comment like this to me I might let it go as a stupid and inappropriate moment. More than one, he's out of my life instantly because no one needs someone who can't take no for an answer (and not responding positively IS the same as no).

Wow so crossed a line. I would let him know you don’t feel comfortable continuing this friendship and block him. Then you won’t get anxious that he doesn’t know why. Can’t believe your husband thinks this is fine.

This disgusting man is not your friend. He is taking advantage of your vulnerability in wanting a friend to try to start an affair with you. There is no reason whatsoever to consider his feelings in how you treat him going forward, so you need to dispense with him in whatever way makes you feel most comfortable, be that blocking him or telling him you want nothing more to do with him. What I'd urge you not to do is go for the short term comfort of carrying on because its easier than stopping. I promise you in the long run it will get more difficult, when commenting on your arse leads to a 'friendly' pat on it, and so on. I know it's horrible, but I think you need to gather your courage and do what needs to be done to get rid of him before it gets worse.

This is a scumbag. Tell him to fuck off.

Based on your first post alone I was gonna say put in some boundaries and let the kids friendship get along, after this post though, no way, bloke is a wrong un

How can you be confused about what to do?? I'm not sure what you're asking? It is the most obvious thing that you need to stop these play dates and block him. Your babies are 6mo, there's absolutely need for these play dates.

How did you reply when he said what he said?

After reading your update you need to get rid of him. He is being a sleazy arsehole. His poor wife. Has your partner seen the messages he is sending?

That's alot more than just flirting op he sounds like a creep.

I think your partner needs to step in here tbh and tell him to leave you alone or he will have a word with the wife.

I say this as clearly you are uncomfortable about confronting him as you are struggling with anxiety.

If you feel lonely try a toddler group I know it's bit scary but you might make some good friends out of it.

Eurgh. Don't speak to him any more.

He's not your friend, he's trying to get into your knickers. He's a creep, your partner's nonchalance about it is surprising, and I'd be quite surprised if his wife was ok with him saying these things to you/his behaviour towards you. I understand your anxiety and not liking confrontation (Im the same) but you need to firmly tell him your not interested in any extramarital activities and you no longer want to meet up with him, even if you told him to back off and you two remained 'friends', you'll still feel anxious around him as you know the type of thoughts he has about you and that if you were willing like him, you two would get up to alot more then innocent meet ups.

Why are men so awful.

Sorry to hear this OP

What the hell? I would be showing his wife the messages. I'm sure she doesn't go out to work so that he can stay at home and shag all the local mums.