To feel worried about what nursery staff will think?

[birbfbb]

I have an almost 2 year old. Her dad sees her but has limited involvement. He recently said he wanted to be on the birth certificate and I was really pleased about this as I felt it was a great shame for her not to have her dad on it. I know the risk with him being on there etc but I am able to defend myself should he apply to court etc and have the means to do that. I am not worried about the rights it would give him. I really do want him on there.

I booked an appointment for it and he didn’t turn up. I am really gutted because soon I will have to give the nursery the birth certificate and her dad’s space will be blank.

I feel like the nursery will judge me even though I would have had him on there the first time if he had wanted to be on it. He said at the time he didn’t want to be on there. I feel like they will see DD differently and she will be judged. I’m just really stressed about it and almost don’t want to claim the free hours so I won’t have to show them the certificate.

@birbfbb would you judge a mum who had a baby whose dad wasn't on the birth certificate or if the dad didn't see the baby?

Even if your child's father didn't see them why would you be the one they judged? That's his issue.

Why would they tell them? In the nicest possible way, it’s not big news to them.

Most nursery workers will have at some point witnessed a man being feckless, even the male ones. They won't bat an eye.

Honestly, the nursery staff wouldn't care less.
Their job is to care for your child, they don't give a damn about your family situation.
They will write the number down on a form and hand the certificate back to you. I bet they won't even read it, because it doesn't matter to them.
They need it to claim funding, not to judge you.

They won’t even notice! Promise.

The fact that Dad didn't turn up for the appointment is far more of a concern than what the nursery might think. Why does he only see his child occasionally on his terms? What's his problem?

She isn’t the first, she won’t be the last. Nursery won’t give it a second thought.

Hope she’s very happy there 😃

I can tell you from experience that this information would not be shared. Information is only shared on an absolute need to know basis. No one would need to know so it wouldn't be shared. But also no one would care a jot anyway.

As a former nursery manager, I really wouldn’t worry about them treating her differently she will be far from the only one in this situation (and there will be other families with much less common circumstances such as 2 dads, 2 mums, step parents, a parent in prison, a parent not allowed contact at all, a parent deceased, child in foster care, etc etc etc that you are unaware of). I would make them aware that you are not together but he does see her so that they know when talking about mummies and daddies, doing things for Father’s Day, etc.

It's not that interesting! The staff have their own lives they're really not going to be that bothered about yours.

Honestly you are worried over nothing.We know all children come from different home styles, and families are families whatever the circumstances. The days of 2.4 DC and mum and Dad are well gone .Sure this is the norm for some but not everyone .As an ex Nursery Nurse we really wouldnt give it a second thought !

I process over 109 nursery school admissions a year.

Honestly, I check that the name and date of birth is accurate when admitting the child and rarely look at the rest of the information. I only ever look at parents names on the birth certificate if the paperwork has been filled in by hand and I need to double check spellings of names.