To leave almost 2 year old for 5 nights

[elm26]

Hi everyone

Just trying to work out whether I'm being awful to DD for this!

We did Portugal when she was 4 months old and just got back from Spain, now she's 1.

It's our 10 year wedding anniversary on Thursday and we've had a couple of family holidays so agreed no presents, just cards and we will get a takeaway.

My parents have offered to have DD for 5 nights in May next year when she will almost be 2 so we can have a late celebration (adult only hotel in Greece) just the two of us.

I'm torn, she loves being with her grandparents, she has an amazing time when she stays for a night, they adore her, both young and fit so active and can look after a 2 year old however I feel guilty in case she misses us/wonders where we are/is upset the whole time also feel guilty for not taking her with us. She doesn't have any separation anxiety (yet) and waves goodbye to us without a care in the world when she sleeps over there.

Any opinions on this?

I think it's doable as long as your DD has bonded with your parents and have stayed with them overnight before your holiday. My DD js two and I have left her twice now. First time was one night and she was fine. Second time it was two nights and apparently she was asking for me the first night but second night she was all ok. But my DD is used to her grandma being there at night time so she is not completely dependant on me doing it alone every time.

I'm saying this in the nicest possible way I can, but it sounds to me as though you will miss your DD more than she will miss you

As you yourself have said, she has such a lovely time at her grandparents and is used to staying overnight. The most important thing is that she is secure, well loved and well looked after and you can safely tick all those boxes

I would start looking forward to your Greek holiday if I were you . . . .

I think it’s absolutely fine. But MN is full of parents who never leave their kids until they are 21 so stand by to be told you’re selfish!!

I always travelled. The kids are fine.

We have just booked our 10 year anniversary holiday without the kids for 6 nights next May too. Our kids will be 3 years and 7 years when we go. I think its absolutely fine to leave them for a bit and have some adult time. I am also torn about going but know once I am there and a few all inclusive drinks in, I will be fine.

My parents are fit and healthy (mostly) and have had both the kids for 4 night before (Feb half term). They find it knackering but the kids love it. They do so much and are so occupied that my eldest requests not to phone us! And they secretly love just having the kids to themselves lol

Do it! I know several women who travel regularly for euro and have had to leave their kids as young as three months. Grandparents will be there and your child may barely miss you - maybe when tired or has scrapped a knee or something.
I sure wish I had an offer like this!

Will you enjoy a holiday without your child? I wouldn’t personally but if you would then it’s fine. Mine was still breastfeeding at 2 though so my expectations were different.

We’re a unit and holidays are something we like to do together, not separately. But I haven’t ever felt like I “needed a break” but a lot of people seem to.

Yep..

I don't understand these 'I won't leave my children until they're 30' ones

I travel 2/3 times a year without my two, and they get their own holidays with us too

We are all different- we both work demanding jobs so any tree time we get we want to see our daughter. A holiday without her would be a punishment, not pleasure.

We also don’t have anyone that could provide care so it would be logistically difficult. But fortunately it’s not something we want anyway.

We have done things individually so it’s not like neither of us can be away, but not as a couple.

As long as she’s fine with grandparents then go for it! My partner and I left our 19mo (at the time) for 3 nights and he was fine, no issues whilst away or on our return. We have 6 nights away planned later in the year when he’ll be 2 1/2. Figured we should get a trip in now before we have a second baby and it’ll be a bigger ask for the grandparents to look after 2!

YANBU. Go enjoy yourself.

Not everyone has wonderful trustworthy grandparents on hand so the responses will be coloured by that.

Go for it.

Youll get comments on here about being selfish and ‘I wouldn’t personally.. ‘ but said in a way to make you feel bad though so here’s not the best place for reassurance.

I do find it funny that those that ‘wouldn’t/couldnt’ don’t even have that option and have close doting grandparents they are super close to and trust. So how would you know you wouldn’t if you’ve never been in that position and had those relationships? Its easier to frame it as ‘wouldn’t want to anyway’ rather than ‘I’d love that but it’s not possible’.

Difficult, personally I could not and didn’t want to be in a different country to my child
until they where much older
im the mum
just that really