When I was pregnant (we had talked about it, both wanted kids, but happened accidentally a few months after we had moved in together), my ex turned quite nasty. At first he attended scans and was happy but as I approached the last trimester I was being accused of cheating on him, of getting pregnant on purpose, all sorts. It was horrific. Ex then drove while over the limit, lost his licence and the nastiness continued. I left, he then refused to speak about the pregnancy and said to friends and family that our baby wasn’t his. He didn’t come to the birth (my texts asking him to support me were ignored). I had to go to cms for any financial support, where he made me and our daughter have a dna test. He didn’t see her until she was 13 months old. Since then, he has actually been better. He has seen her regularly, he pays more than cms calculates, buys her clothes etc. He usually turns up to meet me and her with a few meals for me too to take home with me. He has accepted i won’t leave our daughter with him alone yet but also has bought me coffees cake etc when we’ve met in a cafe and I can see them from a distance. He’s never really explained his behaviour and just says he regrets not seeing our daughter. She is now 2 and one month. He’s not been perfect to me by any means, I have had all sorts of comments about money (when I asked for more towards nursery), comments about me expecting too much by saying I haven’t had a break and he needs to be clear when he is seeing her rather than letting me know last minute.
I feel so much anger and resentment. I went through so much on my own. Had to fight for him to pay towards her, go through awful dna tests, so much confusion and pain when I should have been supported. I have tried so hard to move past things for my daughter and I do obviously want him in her life but he seems to expect me to put the past behind us and for me to just continue as if nothing happened. I can’t. Am I being ridiculous? Should I be over this by now?