to think waiting in a car with dd for half an hour while dh "will be just a min" is really inconsiderate

[profsturg]

dh best mate is getting married and he asked me to drive him to his mates house to hand in the money for his part of the stag do. this was fine. he said ill just be a min. que half an hour later and dd and i are still sitting waiting in the car. my blood was boiling and i was about to drive off and he apeared. he didnt see the problem

YANBU my dh is TERRIBLE for stuff like this, everytime we go to leave the house he faffs and fannies about like nobodies business, ALWAYS keeps me waiting at least 10 mins whenever we go anywhere. Same with the "popping in". We've had huge rows about it especially as he can be a right hypocrite, when it's him who wants to be somewhere promptly woe betide if i even have to use the toilet!

Men are right fannyers it's in the genes

dd is 3 this month and she was bored and started trying to get out of her carseat. i asked him how long he would be and i called my mate to say id be over at such a time. (shes having a hard time at the mo) he knew i was going over. he still didnt even think twice about sitting down with his mates for a beer while we sat outside. oh i was dying for the loo asawell which didnt help lol

Why didn't you just join them? Mind you, he should have thought to come back to the car and tell you he was having a beer! If it had been me, I would have just knocked on the door and joined in.

why didn't you go in? Did you suggest you did and then get fobbed off with 'I'll only be a minute'? If so then I think he was wrong.

i dont think his mates like me. im sure he moans about what a nag/bitch i am (im not really) so they hardly talk to me now. didnt want to look like oh i dont know.

Hmmm, yes, he was out of line. DW would have been less than thrilled if I did that to her. On the other hand, if she knew I was going to see a best mate just before he got married she'd probably realise that I wouldn't just be popping in and simply ask to come in as well.

I have been guilty of this before, mostly because I'm not aware of how much time goes by when I think I'm just having a quick chat! Next time just join in, that way it might give his mates a chance to get to know you better and thern you'll probably stop feeling like they don't like you much!

Half an hour is quite a long time for a 3 yr old to sit in a staionary car, so that was a bit inconsiderate of him.

he gets married in june and he wasnt at his house he was at another mates dh was just dropping in money to pay for stag do

He sat down to have a beer??? YANBU. He should have popped out to let you know, giving you the choice of waiting (and letting you get your dd out of car seat to play) or coming back to collect him later when it also suited you. Bad manners really.

It's a form of control and a power play. I get really mad when people try this with me and have dropped friends over it. I notice people are always on time and don't dawdle when it's something they really want to do.

I agree with Musicgirl ...... it's bloody bad manners and extremely contemptuous to leave his wife and daughter hanging on for him stuck in a bloody boring car when there was probably 101 other things you'd have rather spent the time doing.

It's just about excusable to get carried away chatting but to sit down and have a beer is just rude, rude, rude ! He must have known at that point (if not before) that this wasn't going to be "a minute".

People who behave like this obviously think their time is more important than yours.

Who does he think you are ..... his chauffeur ?

And I'd be even more peed off if he was wasting MY time with a mate who doesn't have the basic courtesy of being polite to you (... "they hardly talk to me now"). It would feel like the rude mate was being prioritised over me.

I'd be livid about this.