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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Van Driver blocked driveway and was then abusive and behaved like a stalker

46 replies

MoMo999 · 17/06/2024 22:30

Feeling upset by a very rude van driver who this evening enitrely blocked my driveway so I could not get in, whilst seemingly taking away a neighbour's car this evening.

I arrived home with a car full of food shopping that I needed to unload. I waited a couple of minutes but no-one seemed to be around so I parked on the road and started carrying my shopping to my house. Whilst doing this some utterly rude came out to the van and instead of apologising and offering to move or letting me know he'd only be a couple of minutes, when I said you've parked across my driveway, he said that as I had not said "please could you move", he was now going to sit there for 45 minutes, which he did.

I went out and took a photo of the logo on the van, which when I googled it turned out to be a credit agency regulated by the FCA. So I have made a formal complaint to the company and their regulator and recorded the incident to 101 in case he escalated things further.

I don't think someone who is verbally abusive and made me feel physically intimidated, as I am only a short woman who was on my own outside my own home this evening, should be allowed to work for such a company.

I don't know what he thought he was achieving by sitting outside my house, but I made and ate my dinner whilst that fool was sitting there wasting his own time. Why do some men think they can behave in such an unprofessional manner and get away with it. Hope it comes as a nasty shock when his employer catches up with him tomorrow.

I am on my own in the house this week so just needed some moral support and wondered if others had tips for dealing with aggressive workmen.

OP posts:
MoMo999 · 18/06/2024 21:33

To be frank, it sounds like his Company are dealing with it as they sent me a good email this morning, as did the FCA in response to my complaint. So I am pretty sure he won't be bothering me again.

OP posts:
Cherrysoup · 18/06/2024 21:36

He sounds like an absolute head case. Why on earth would he waste his time making a point of nothing? Absolute idiot.

CraftyGoblin · 19/06/2024 00:18

I would just let this go. You're probably never going to see him again. Contacting the FCA etc is a waste of your own time for the reasons other posters have stated. Also when they turn up to take a car, they clamp it and then they have to give the owner something like 1hr to come up with the money. They can't take it straight away because then the debtor can say that they took the assets while they were on the way to a cash machine. He was going to wait the remaining 45 minutes in the van anyway. He didn't block you in, and he has to wait. Even if he said it was because of you, it wasn't. He could have moved but you'd already parked up and unloaded your shopping, and he wasn't going to get a thank you or anything so probably saw no point. I don't like bailiffs but I don't think that anything he did was stalkery. I hope that you enjoy the house to yourself :)

Coconutter24 · 19/06/2024 06:38

MoMo999 · 18/06/2024 21:30

What makes you think I was rude. I said you have parked across my driveway. Why should I say oh please sir may I get to my own house - what a bizarre comment Coconutter24

Because it comes across rude how you said you said it to him. Didn’t say you had to be all please sir. If someone was in front of my drive I wouldn’t just walk up to them and say you have parked across my drive that’s short and rude I would at least say you’re parked across my drive, how long will you be/or are you able to move so I can access my drive. Driver obviously thought you were rude hence his reaction which I still don’t agree with.

Crocsforlife · 19/06/2024 06:47

I doubt the company will do anything. In my work I've had similar complaints called in, I've apologised said the matter would be passed to a manager and dealt with severely then just got on with my day.

jeaux90 · 19/06/2024 07:01

Good for you OP, he was a rude, entitled and intimidating asshole.

SinnerBoy · 19/06/2024 07:22

BlueMum16 · Yesterday 20:52

I'm afraid they gave you rubbish advice, it certainly is illegal to park blocking a dropped kerb.

filingpapers · 19/06/2024 08:12

SinnerBoy · 19/06/2024 07:22

BlueMum16 · Yesterday 20:52

I'm afraid they gave you rubbish advice, it certainly is illegal to park blocking a dropped kerb.

No it isn't if the drive is empty.

rwalker · 19/06/2024 09:26

Life’s too short
there’ll be a reason he parked across your driveway
not ideal but if he’s delivering a car he’ll need the length of his vehicle the length of the ramp and the length or the car he’s collecting
so basically the total length of 3 to 4 cars to be able to do this

people tend to respond in the same manner that you speak to them “you’ve parked over my drive is passive aggressively stating the obvious
personally I would of just asked how long will you be I need to get my shopping in

he was deliberately awkward as you pissed him off

unless you’ve got any proof it’s your word against his he’ll just lie doubt your complaint will go anywhere
you’ll probably get a worthless email saying they spoken to the driver and they’ll apologise

MoMo999 · 19/06/2024 15:16

Coconutter24 · 19/06/2024 06:38

Because it comes across rude how you said you said it to him. Didn’t say you had to be all please sir. If someone was in front of my drive I wouldn’t just walk up to them and say you have parked across my drive that’s short and rude I would at least say you’re parked across my drive, how long will you be/or are you able to move so I can access my drive. Driver obviously thought you were rude hence his reaction which I still don’t agree with.

You sound like a doormat. Do bore off.

OP posts:
Coconutter24 · 19/06/2024 15:26

MoMo999 · 19/06/2024 15:16

You sound like a doormat. Do bore off.

Haha a doormat because I choose not to be rude, I can assure you I’m not a doormat, I’m just not rude! Each reply you’ve given you’ve been rude which proves my point of you were rude to the guy. Yes he over reacted but I’m starting to think you deserved it.

MoMo999 · 19/06/2024 15:37

rwalker · 19/06/2024 09:26

Life’s too short
there’ll be a reason he parked across your driveway
not ideal but if he’s delivering a car he’ll need the length of his vehicle the length of the ramp and the length or the car he’s collecting
so basically the total length of 3 to 4 cars to be able to do this

people tend to respond in the same manner that you speak to them “you’ve parked over my drive is passive aggressively stating the obvious
personally I would of just asked how long will you be I need to get my shopping in

he was deliberately awkward as you pissed him off

unless you’ve got any proof it’s your word against his he’ll just lie doubt your complaint will go anywhere
you’ll probably get a worthless email saying they spoken to the driver and they’ll apologise

I have made the complaints and it is being dealt with per the emails I have received from his Company and the FCA. The FCA advised me of the complaints process and that they would be putting it on the Firm's record. So it is not on my mind anymore - I was irritated in the moment, but don't think you can close-out these threads as they have their own life. Ultimately he made a fool of himself, as I was enjoying my dinner whilst he sat outside wasting his own time.

I don't have to ask anyone "nicely" to access the property that I own and pay for, so I couldn't give two hoots if he was pissed off - he is not an emergency worker deserving of such consideration.

OP posts:
MoMo999 · 19/06/2024 15:41

Coconutter24 · 19/06/2024 15:26

Haha a doormat because I choose not to be rude, I can assure you I’m not a doormat, I’m just not rude! Each reply you’ve given you’ve been rude which proves my point of you were rude to the guy. Yes he over reacted but I’m starting to think you deserved it.

Edited

Nutter by name and nutter by nature - as I said bore off. He deserves that it is on their regulatory record. You are the rudest person on her gaslighter.

OP posts:
Coconutter24 · 19/06/2024 16:03

MoMo999 · 19/06/2024 15:41

Nutter by name and nutter by nature - as I said bore off. He deserves that it is on their regulatory record. You are the rudest person on her gaslighter.

Ok, definitely not the rudest. Look up gas lighting before chucking that around.
Over and out 👋

Staringatthewalljustmeagain · 19/06/2024 17:49

The fuck is wrong with a couple of people on this thread?!

The OP wasn’t rude.

MoMo999 · 19/06/2024 17:52

Staringatthewalljustmeagain · 19/06/2024 17:49

The fuck is wrong with a couple of people on this thread?!

The OP wasn’t rude.

Thank you. I have decided to ignore the couple of gas lighters especially as one appears to be an attention seeker. I have very much appreciated the supportive comments from the vast majority and am happily carrying on with my week.

OP posts:
BasilParsley · 19/06/2024 19:08

Slightly off topic, but it's sort of related... I drove home the other week and found a white van parked across my drive with its driver (man) sorting through stuff at the back of it. I pulled over on the other side of the road, opened the car window and said in a firm but generally pleasant tone "excuse me, I want to get onto my drive..." He said he would only be a minute then asked "do you live at x-number?" I said yes. He then presented me with the parcel that I wasn't expecting until two hours later according Amazon's tracking feature! He then drove off and I was able to get on my drive... Sorry, I'll get my coat...

mrsdineen2 · 19/06/2024 19:20

He's an absolute dick, and you were right to report him, but you've forgotten to include the bit where he behaved like a stalker.

Words have meaning, and you undermine yourself when you misuse them.

Edited to add, your understanding of "gaslighting" is also flawed.

Idontjetwashthefucker · 19/06/2024 19:35

mrsdineen2 · 19/06/2024 19:20

He's an absolute dick, and you were right to report him, but you've forgotten to include the bit where he behaved like a stalker.

Words have meaning, and you undermine yourself when you misuse them.

Edited to add, your understanding of "gaslighting" is also flawed.

Edited

How patronising are you?

SinnerBoy · 19/06/2024 21:00

filingpapers · Today 08:12

No it isn't if the drive is empty.

I'm sorry, but that's entirely incorrect. You are not allowed to park across a dropped kerb at any time.

JohnofWessex · 21/09/2024 09:36

Any updates?

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