My heart is a little broken now not sure what to do

[PumpkiSpice]

i feel really down and the loneliness is suffocating me today.
I’ve always struggled with being part of bigger friendship groups as an adult- at jobs I have constantly left out of nights out, mums groups the same, rugby group. At least 6 times in the last 15 years I have been isolated out of social groups not invited anymore.
my best friend has ghosted me for last few weeks. I’m due to have surgery and no one cares I have no support or help.
honestly I think I would be better off to die on the surgery table- my husband would be happier in the long run.
I love my children more than anything on this planet so I couldn’t kill myself.
I’m just so broken today. I don’t know why I’m so unlikable but seen there was another event that ‘friends’ on sat all over fb again not included. It’s all small things but death by a thousand paper cuts and my heart can’t take any more rejection I’m. Broken today

I would reach out and ask your “best friend” , it sounds like you have nothing to lose.
Sometimes people get wrapped in their own lives and the less vocal and visible get lost in the noise. They may not realise that they are hurting you.

I hear you @PumpkiSpice when you feel lonely, somehow you become more and more invisible and people don’t see you. Even if that’s in your head. That’s all that matters in the end. How you feel. I am so sorry you are feeling this way and I do understand it.
It is most likely that people are buried in their own lives and noise and are not hearing your quiet sadness. It’s not that they don’t want you in their lives, it’s that they just don’t see. I’ve realised that about my life sometimes.
Grab a person. One of these people whom you know. One you trust and confide in them. I did. I met someone on the bus and we became friends.
For sure your DH would not be better off without you, no matter if you think he would.
Why do you love your kids? You love them because they are yours and you can’t help it. Look at yourself every day and try that love on you. Yourself. Tell yourself you love you just as you tell your kids. Even if you have to say it quietly at first. Become the person you know deserves love. And isn’t broken, just sad but will
not always be. I am sorry you are so lonely. You are not alone. I promise

Thank you… quiet sadness very true that completely describes how I’m feeling

YABU to talk about yourself like this💐

Loneliness is one of the worst feelings ever. I’ve experienced it myself so can 100% empathise, it’s shit.

Are you quite a reserved person? As I am, and find in big friendship groups and work settings I’m often left out or totally forgotten sometimes.

Large friendship groups full of females aren’t all it’s cracked up to be either. There’s often bitchiness and competitiveness. I probably have around 3-4 real true friends. The rest of our large social group is just superficial friendships and it’s exhausting.

Do you get support from your husband?

Awww, that is so sad! I think the problem with life today is that it is too busy! We are all, always on the go and have no time to check in with others. See if you can join a group based on your hobbies like a walking club, book club etc. You will meet new people, make friends and I am sure you will feel better. Take care!

The run up to having surgery is always anxious and a bit depressing, but you said how much you love your children, so you do have love in your life and people who care about you.
Its really sad that your friend has let you down. Has she really ghosted you? Or just been very busy? Its worth a text to find out one way or the other.
How many days before surgery? Is there anything you can do to distract yourself/spoil yourself in the run up, or are you too poorly? Take the kids to a nice cafe and spoil them a bit, try to relax watching films or listening to comedy/music. Just be very very kind to yourself, you will get through this. Get the surgery/recovery out of the way and then you can start to work on the friends situation

Sometimes I have felt like this, and I have gone out and been around strangers and funnily enough, they have been so kind to me in one way or another. It made me realise that I am a person with worth and that I do bring valuable qualities into this world. Perhaps you could go for a pamper day somewhere or plan something really nice to treat yourself that you’ve always wanted to do?

Oh love. Poor you. Maybe you’ve just been really unlucky and group dynamics can be awful, just awful. Your kids love and adore you. How is your relationship with your H?

Fuck groups, they can be primitive and unforgiving and driven by really facile and superficial motivations. Let this friend go, and when you’re feeling better and in recovery think about how to make new connections, small beginnings. Be kind and loving to yourself. You matter, you are valuable.

Thank you for your kind responses they have all be really helpful.
had a bit of panic attack and chat with husband last night.
today has been a bit better had my pre surgery appointment and they were very reassuring and just super kind so left that appointment in tears but tears knowing there are some good souls in the world.
everything feels hard right now but hopefully one day it will be easier

I get you op
I seem to have regressed back to the way I was at school, where I had zero friends and used to go the whole day without speaking to anyone

When I was 18 I met my now husband and I suddenly had masses of friends, always out
But my dh is ill with cancer and can't do much just sits in front of the tv, no real conversation as hes dealing with his own shit. But he's a good and kind man.
I don't go out much, unless alone. Lots of walks
I have some friends, but they don't see me and are always busy.
I can talk to anyone about anything, and can chat for ages with strangers, but never seem to breakthrough. I ask people to go for coffee, but they never respond. Im always on the edge looking in and I don't know why
I can cope with it mostly, but sometimes I just wish I knew why
There's lots of us about op,

I'm really sorry you are feeling so down and sad about not being included, that sucks.

But you say you have no help or support but also you have a husband. Does your husband not help or support you? Can you have a chat to spell out what support you need from him?

I hope you are ok 🌺