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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am i overreacting?

8 replies

NaiveMuch · 17/06/2024 10:59

Single mum of 3. Been single for about 6 years. So thought i’d give dating app a go after a lot of pressure from friends and family. I tell you, it’s a bloody jungle on those dating apps! The quality of men out there, ridiculous! maybe my expectations were just so high. I haven’t been in a relationship in over 15 years so maybe my understanding of relationships in these times is completely different.

I matched with this guy. He’s not someone i would typically go for but agreed to meet up with him. Again, no immediate sparks but did enjoy his company, nice guy and very family oriented which i liked. I asked him out about a week after our first date but he had family commitments, single dad as well. After that we caught up over chat and i brought it up again, didn't hear anything from him. For 2 weeks, nothing, he then finally came back and said he was in a relationship for those weeks which he thought he could invest his energy in but now he’s not sure and thought he needed another week to figure out what he wants to do and then apologised.

To be fair i wasn't sure whether he wanted me still hang in there, i wouldn’t!, or just eff off, but i blocked him as the thought of me being told essentially that I'm a second option wasn't great. Maybe i would have preferred to be given a different reason or maybe not used the words “invest my energy”.

Not sure why I'm even posting this, i guess i just wanted to rant!

OP posts:
KreedKafer · 17/06/2024 11:14

This doesn't seem like that big a deal to me. You only went on one date and he's been completely honest with you. You must have known he might be having dates with other people?

DistinguishedSocialCommentator · 17/06/2024 11:17

Hi
Its good posting, writing stuff as it comes out of your head. Here, people will give their opinions but only you can decide
Good luck, either way!!

VyeBrator · 17/06/2024 11:17

This is dating app life.

The 'idea' is to date different people until you find someone you'd quite like a relationship with.

Having said that, you shouldn't be dating because other people are putting pressure on you to do so.

NaiveMuch · 17/06/2024 11:26

KreedKafer · 17/06/2024 11:14

This doesn't seem like that big a deal to me. You only went on one date and he's been completely honest with you. You must have known he might be having dates with other people?

Yes i know this. I guess it just feels quite disappointing to hear it in those words. Perhaps if he had just said he’s seeing someone now blah blah i wouldn't honestly mind. Ive had a few of those, which quite frankly I appreciated them letting me know.

OP posts:
NaiveMuch · 17/06/2024 11:28

VyeBrator · 17/06/2024 11:17

This is dating app life.

The 'idea' is to date different people until you find someone you'd quite like a relationship with.

Having said that, you shouldn't be dating because other people are putting pressure on you to do so.

I hear this all the time. Again maybe this is on me, but I genuinely struggle to. Dating different people simultaneously, perhaps I need to consider this

OP posts:
NaiveMuch · 17/06/2024 11:37

..and to add, I'm not dating because am being pressured. It’s the joining of the dating app. They thought it might help as I prefer the “traditional” way of meeting people which in my case means very low chances of meeting people as i dont go out as much.

OP posts:
VyeBrator · 17/06/2024 12:25

NaiveMuch · 17/06/2024 11:37

..and to add, I'm not dating because am being pressured. It’s the joining of the dating app. They thought it might help as I prefer the “traditional” way of meeting people which in my case means very low chances of meeting people as i dont go out as much.

Can you get out more?

If you found someone online, you'd have to get out more anyway?

NaiveMuch · 17/06/2024 13:59

VyeBrator · 17/06/2024 12:25

Can you get out more?

If you found someone online, you'd have to get out more anyway?

I think I’ve not just been one to go out much especially since having kids. I know ill have to get out more if i do meet someone.

OP posts:
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