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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think 'watching 5 more minutes of this' means just that?

37 replies

Dizzydolly12 · 17/06/2024 07:03

Last night, boyfriend and I were sat together on the sofa watching the England game. Well, he was watching the football and I was on my phone doing various bits but was happily sat with him cuddled up. We'd been chatting all the way through the first half and it got to half way through the half time commentary. He'd already said he probably wouldn't watch all the match as he needed to get some sleep for an early start at work. I asked him what the plan was and he said 'I'll watch 5 more minutes of this, then head upstairs' I was a bit bored and getting tired by this point but thought that's fine, I'll wait for 5 and we'll go to bed together. 10 mins of half time commentary passed and I again asked because I would go up without him and he could come up later if he wanted. He repeated his answer and started to get annoyed. Turns out he meant i'll watch 5 more minutes of the match when it restarts the second half. But aibu to take what he said literally and presume he just meant 5 more minutes of the programme in general rather than of the 2nd half of the game?
He doesn't watch football usually, I know nothing about football so how can I be expected to mind read and understand that's what he meant. It led to bickering and he continued to say things like 'If I'd have said that to anyone else, they would have understood.' And 'I'm sorry you've interpreted it that way.'
It was a miscommunication that was blown way out of proportion but his response always makes me feel like I'm in the wrong. He puts a spin on the apology to make it my fault. It should have been I'm sorry I wasn't clear enough and didn't say what I actually meant.

OP posts:
OMGsamesame · 17/06/2024 07:04

Did it matter that you went to bed at the same time? Why didn't you just go when you were bored/tired?

Fillyfrog · 17/06/2024 07:05

It's such an odd thing to argue about. Do you have to go to bed together? Why couldn't you just go up when he said 5 mins and get in bed and wait for him?

NextPhaseOfLife · 17/06/2024 07:10

Hey OP

obviously not about the football, but how he makes you feel when you have a disagreement.

The 'I'm sorry if you're upset', 'I'm sorry that you misinterpreted' is a horrible trait and I'm not surprised it makes you angry,

It's something that needs addressing. If you can have a calm conversation about it and get to through to him, that might help him see your point.

If he doesn't, it's actually quite a big thing, as you'll end up with a man who's always right, and condescending, and that's not a happy place to be.

Carebearsonmybed · 17/06/2024 07:24

I would have interpreted it as 5 more mins of match time. The commentary is like adverts surely?

But it sounds like there's a backstory of other times you've not understood each other.

Comms are so important in a relationship, best to let this one go now.

Plus he was mean to you.

fieldsofbutterflies · 17/06/2024 07:27

I'd have interpreted it as five more minutes of match time too. Most people don't pay much attention to the commentary.

But the issue is communication (on both sides) and how he makes you feel after an argument.

In this case I would have just gone to bed and let him do what he wanted, but it sounds like there's a much bigger background issue here.

TeaKitten · 17/06/2024 07:30

I’d have thought 5 more minutes of match too. He should have to be held to it anyway, adult watching tv can change their minds if they want. You misunderstood and it was a non event, I can’t see why he needed to apologies anyway.

fridaynight1 · 17/06/2024 07:37

I would have assumed 5 more minutes of the match. And I wouldn’t have watched the clock over that 5 minutes either. If you wanted to go to bed why didn’t you just go? Geez no wonder he got irritated with you.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 17/06/2024 07:40

Why didn't you just let him watch however much of the football he wanted? There's no particular value in walking up the stairs together or waiting for one to finish brushing their teeth so the other can use the toilet.

FuzzyStripes · 17/06/2024 07:46

If I’m honest, I’d have interpreted as watching the rest of the match and missing the commentary afterwards. Why didn’t you just go to bed when you wanted?

PracticallyYesterday · 17/06/2024 07:49

It means "I'm going to watch this for a bit longer; if I get engrossed I might watch the whole thing."

PhilosophicalCheeseSandwich · 17/06/2024 07:50

Definitely 5 more minutes of match play, and obviously if it's more interesting than you expect then you'd stick around and watch a bit more or all of it. He's at home watching telly, I don't know why you'd feel upset about it.

behindthemall · 17/06/2024 07:52

I would’ve assumed 5 minutes of match, and wouldn’t have called him out until ten mins into the match (because no one means five minutes when they say 5 more minutes).

But the bigger issue is the way you’ve both reacted to an absolute nothing. Is it one to chalk up to both being tired and a bit cranky?

JurassicClark · 17/06/2024 07:53

PracticallyYesterday · 17/06/2024 07:49

It means "I'm going to watch this for a bit longer; if I get engrossed I might watch the whole thing."

It’s absolutely this. YABU

CuntRYMusicStar · 17/06/2024 08:08

My dh was watching - half heartedly. I was tired so left him to it. He came up when it finished. If he'd said 5 more minutes I wouldn't have started commenting at 5 minutes - clearly if he's still watching then he's still watching - I don't need him to submit an updated schedule.

Just go to bed when you want to go to bed, this is a ridiculous thing to bicker about.

Summerbay23 · 17/06/2024 08:11

PracticallyYesterday · 17/06/2024 07:49

It means "I'm going to watch this for a bit longer; if I get engrossed I might watch the whole thing."

This. You should have just gone to bed on your own, it really isn’t a big deal.

Edenmum2 · 17/06/2024 08:12

Jeez. Does it matter?

Tiswa · 17/06/2024 08:13

it was 9pm when this happened so hardly late - but yes I would have taken it as the match as well!

Olika · 17/06/2024 08:14

If my DH is watching football and I want to go to bed, I just go. I don't need us to go to bed at the same time. Such a weird thing to make issue of.

Ponoka7 · 17/06/2024 08:15

He's watching the football, so five more minutes of football to see if Serbia was coming back out with enough to swing the match the other way. You can't tell if it's going to be worth watching. Are you in the UK? It would have been 8.50 pm, far enough if you have 5am starts. You should have just gone to bed, you don't have to go up at the same time. Who started bickering?

darklittlecloudsong · 17/06/2024 08:19

It led to bickering because of you. The fact that you've even taken the time to post this waffle is proof of that. I'd be demented living with someone who picked at me like this.

HereWeGoRoundAgain · 17/06/2024 08:20

It means "I want to watch the whole thing really, but I don't want to tell you that because I can see you're unhappy with it, so I'll say five minutes and hope you don't bring it up"...

If have just gone to bed by myself and asked him to be quiet when he came up.

Muffin101 · 17/06/2024 08:20

PracticallyYesterday · 17/06/2024 07:49

It means "I'm going to watch this for a bit longer; if I get engrossed I might watch the whole thing."

This. Why didn’t you just go to bed on your own? What a storm in a teacup.

CurlewKate · 17/06/2024 08:21

Why didn't you just go to bed when you wanted to?

Boutonnière · 17/06/2024 08:26

Such a mountain out of a molehill. My DH is more of a rugby fan but he was also half heartedly watching the first half, disappeared off during half time, came back at the start of the second and said he’d just watch a bit but ended up watching it all. I went to bed at some point ( no interest at all).

BrigadierEtienneGerard · 17/06/2024 08:29

Of course it doesn't mean that anymore than "a swift half" means either "swift" or only just a "half".

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