To not strap my baby into her buggy properly?

[onespot]

My baby is 11 months and hates straps over her shoulders strapping her in; she goes absolutely mad. I’ve been avoiding this by just doing the straps round her waist so that she has some security but it means she leans far forwards (usually to eat the safety bar) and it feels precarious.

Wondering how bad it is not to have her ‘properly’ strapped in.

I definitely wouldn't risk it if she doesn't sit nicely. When my son was older (quite a bit older, more like 18 months+), I used to let him sit without the straps but he pretty much always sat still. If he started being silly or dangerous, the straps went back on.

Could you pad the shoulder straps - wrap strips of foam around them or something?

Of course you can still talk to them when they’re facing the other way! Why would you think you can’t? And it has the advantage that they can also see where they’re going and see more.

The thing is though, it's not 'really distressing her' it's pissing her off'.

stop thinking about her as being traumatised by it and just as being pissed off. She can't swear about it, she can only 'create'.

she'll get over it.

just make sure the straps are at the correct length. Tight enough to be safe, not so tight they're hurting her.

Yes,my son did this as a toddler,I didn't even see he had pulled his arms out,he's 30 this year and I still haven't quite forgiven myself!

Bollocks. Mine faced forwards from about 6 months and we always chatted as we went along. They did not grow up traumatised from it and were much happier looking in the direction we were going in. So yes, I'd turn the seat around.

The harness going on properly would be non-negotiable as far as I would be concerned. I would (and absolutely did) totally ignore all protest including prolonged crying and shrieking about it. If they wriggled out it was put firmly back on again with an even firmer "NO" at them. As many times as necessary. They got the message that I wasn't going to budge on it eventually.

My DD was the same and I did the same with her straps. Unfortunately she then decided she wouldn’t wear her car seat straps so I did what you suggested tried multiple car seats. She hates them all. Some kids just hate being restrained but unfortunately I sort of gave her a taste of freedom not making her sit in her pram properly.
Trust me I feel your pain, she will scream for as long as the car journey is, and was the same in her pram. Ultimately once she could walk we stopped really using the pram, although we did get a trike which worked quite well!

Maybe look for the thread from a couple of weeks ago from the mum sitting in hospital as her baby had a fractured skull from falling out of the buggy. She forgot to put the staps on.

That is unforgivable. It's a good job I didn't see that post!
Neglectful parenting and then taking to your phone in A&E instead of focusing on your child, whose injury YOU are responsible for. Why are some people allowed to be in charge of tiny children?

I think to be fair, she was absolutely traumatised and very much blaming herself.

I'll reserve my sympathy for the poor baby who should have been protected. Stuff like that chills my blood.

I'm not disagreeing, but the OP on this thread is suggesting not using the straps as it's distressing her child. My point was meant as a cautionary tale. I believe the other mum made a mistake, the thread is still on here.

She’s a baby. She doesn’t get to choose whether she gets stopped in properly.

My Ds had sensory issues at this age and was the same we got two soft patterned muslins and just wrapped them round the shoulder strap and he then accepted it no issues I think as it was then a familiar material? Might be worth a try

I wouldn't risk it. My adult godson still has a visible scar across his forehead and the bridge of his nose from where his grandmother popped him into his buggy without the straps to get him the few yards from the car to the house and the wheel caught on an uneven bit of pavement and tipped him out.

Swap to reins and anchor to the buggy D rings. It’s a bit of a faff to set up but more comfortable for the child .

Safety is never optional and your posts are concerning. The car seat comment especially, she may not like it but it may keep her alive.

Check the straps are at the right height they usually have different settings as they grow. But never risk it .

And when they are big enough to use them for walking you can also play horses! It makes the reins really fun and even when they walk holding your hand you have that extra layer of safety.

I'd never though of using them to clip to a buggy but it's a great half way house and likely safe enough as you aren't travelling at high speed in a buggy!

So have I, absolutely no way would I not fully strap a baby in. Let her 'go mad ' she'll soon get used to it.

Yes. Turn her around if she prefers that. Child development folk say your baby will want to look at your face and be spoken to but my ds was desperate to turn face forward. He was and is still extremely —nosy— curious.

More than thirty years ago, I was collecting my son from school and my daughter was in a pushchair with only a waist restraint. She pushed herself up in the buggy (which she wouldn’t have been able to do with shoulder restraints) and the buggy then tipped over. She has a scar by her eyebrow to this day. I would absolutely say, used the shoulder restraints, and your daughter can howl and wail all she likes.

Also going against grain slightly. My autistic DC couldn’t handle the shoulder straps in a push chair ether, so we just did the waist and over top of thigh straps, it is not 5pt harness but still 3pt. They couldn’t fall out even if the buggy fell over or tipped forward. We also got an enclosure- fabric insect netting for nice days and clear plastic for rain and cold days so they couldn’t even lean forward enough to have hands/arms outside the buggy.

You can adapt safety measures in this case.

I empathise with you became my now 13 month old would go absolutely crazy and scream relentlessly about this too.
Here is what helped me -

• face outwards and upright so she can see more
• give her snacks in the pram (ella's sticks are good as they're so long and dissolve in their mouth so I worry about choking less although obviously watch her)
• keep certain toys as pram only toys and rotate them often so she is excited to play with/hold them/bite them while in the pram

Can you imagine if it had been a dad who had 'made that mistake'. I bet she got way more sympathy than a man would have got.
Either way, safety always comes first. I can ignore a tantrum, I can't ignore a cracked skull!

You are the parent and you need to make the decision in your child's interest, just as you will when your child does not want to wear shoes/eat vegetables/go to school.