To send this message to ExH

[sparklingwater1]

Split 8 years ago, very amicable usually and co parent well. Both have other partners for the past 5 years and although have the odd (and I mean odd) spat we are very much for the kids. I want to send the text below but unsure if I'm being unreasonable. A is my oldest and 11 year old. Have a younger son who I haven't asked about this so just taking A's POV...

Hey just wanted to double check something with you.

A came back from yours Sunday and when watching the football said that he didn’t want to stay in the lodge we had booked before flying out from Manchester because you had said and in his words “it was rubbish” and “gran and dad were giving looks when we spoke about it”

Not that we need to justify but I’m genuinely hoping A has the wrong end of the story here and/ or has misunderstood the interaction that’s went on.

We showed A for the third time where we were staying before flying out and he is genuinely excited and said when we showed him “I don’t know why they think it’s rubbish”

I know I haven’t sent accommodation details cause we’re not that OTT and assume we do the best for the kids but just want to get this sorted out as A was pretty adamant that this is what has went on and if so then I’m genuinely a bit miffed by it considering we work hard and save hard for a holiday each year.

Defo don’t send the text. It’s not needed.

have a great time.

It sounds as though Ex DH’s nose is out of joint because he can only take them on UK holidays and you are taking them abroad. Likely misplaces as UK holidays can be as expensive/amazing as overseas ones, but some people have a weird inverted snobbery about it.

I would just tell DH that dad has never stayed in the lodge and doesn’t know what he’s on about - and that lots of people stop over at an airport lodge/hotel if they have an early flight. Then focus on the Spanish bit of the hols.

Don’t text him at all about this. Square it with your child and remember your ex is an ex for a reason

sort it out with your child
your ex mil is a miserable cow for dampening a child’s holiday.

Next time write: holiday booked 24-30 July - Spain.

I’d be having words with your son, tbh. I do see that he’s been exposed to some crap by his grandparents, so I’m not talking coming down on him like a tonne of bricks. But he’s 11, he’s old enough to be told to check his bloody privilege, saying he doesn’t want to stay in a hotel the night before a flight for a bloody holiday in Spain! I wouldn’t try to convince him that the lodge was nice, either. I’d simply have a conversation with him and point out the early start he’s avoiding, the cost (and how you work for that money) that’s avoiding that early start, and how he’s damn lucky to be going on holiday - let alone abroad!

His grandparents have made some rude snobby comment… but at 11, he’s old enough to reflect on his own rude reaction to you.

I think it is a bit rubbish to have to stay in a hotel / lodge by the airport whilst you wait for a flight. Often things in life are a bit rubbish and we empathise with that. Maybe that was the tone of the comment but your son has taken it too much to heart.

It isn’t rubbish - it’s fun!