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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Man elbowed me in chest on coach

44 replies

GlitterGlobe30 · 16/06/2024 23:27

I was on the coach to go home from London this evening when an old man got on at the last minute with his wife. There were no seats left to sit together at this point so he starts making a fuss and refusing to sit down anywhere. In the end, the lady sat next to me offers him her seat where there is a free seat behind so he can be sat in the seat in front of his wife. At this point the bus is already in motion as we've set off. So the lady next to me gets up to give him her seat and just as she's about to take her new seat the bus judders causing them all to almost fall over as none of them have yet to take their seat. So I'm thinking, great, now I have to sit next to this man who's causing a disturbance to everyone because he won't just sit down in an available seat. He starts to elbow me whilst he's sat next to me as he won't stay still which was really annoying but I just tried to ignore it as best I could and sit right up close to the window to try to avoid him. In the end he reaches to get something from in his pocket whilst giving me a massive whack in the chest with his elbow which made me so cross that I picked up my bag to put it in between us to act as a barrier to which he crossly picked up my bag again and put it back on my lap. So I said to him, ' You just elbowed me in the chest!' And he said, 'Well it's going to happen from time to time' So I just said, 'I would appreciate it if you didn't elbow me in the chest, thank you very much' and I put my backpack on my front so that if he did it again he would hit the bag instead of me. Am I being unreasonable? I understand a bit of light elbowing on a coach ride but he had his elbow permanently in my side before that happened and by this point I was sick of him not keeping himself to himself.

OP posts:
Scruffily · 17/06/2024 08:28

Why is his age relevant, OP?

Supersoakers · 17/06/2024 08:31

I would have swapped with his wife to get away

DoreenonTill8 · 17/06/2024 08:32

Scruffily · 17/06/2024 08:28

Why is his age relevant, OP?

Because if @GlitterGlobe30 hadn't put it, the thread would be full of "maybe he's elderly/disabled and needed the space more than you"..

AutumnLeaves1990 · 17/06/2024 08:35

Ilovecakey · 17/06/2024 01:12

Should have elbowed the old cnut in the face!

Yes. It's going to happen from time to time isn't it? 🙄😡

beckybarefoot · 17/06/2024 08:37

I'm such a pacifist I'd have offered to swap seats with his wife 😂

GCAcademic · 17/06/2024 08:37

You should have screamed "keep away from my tits, you pervert".

astonssandboxisalittertray · 17/06/2024 08:38

I'd have called his bluff and started to scream about being assaulted. How dare he expect you to keep quiet whilst he's physically assaulting you in an attempt to get you to leave your seat.
I'd have screamed "I'm being hurt! This man is frightening me! He just hit me in the chest! Please help!" Etc.
His fault for not getting there earlier. He should have asked politely for a seat swap but just accepted what was available if no one agreed.
How dare he think he can bully you in to moving. His age does not make this any more acceptable or less appalling. Angry

hopscotcher · 17/06/2024 08:39

Hope you're OK OP, and he was rude of course, but I did laugh at "a bit of light elbowing."

Decompressing2 · 17/06/2024 10:49

He sounds like a dick but at the same time if an elderly couple got on I would move so they could sit together so you don't sound that nice either.

Gofastboatsmojito · 17/06/2024 10:55

In these situations I now ask for an apology. I get a surprised and slightly huffy one about half the time, the other half i get ignored

*obv I'm not often in an elbow-in-tit situation regularly but someone bumping me etc

KreedKafer · 17/06/2024 11:22

BoundaryGirl3939 · 16/06/2024 23:38

Was he just frazzled? Some people are extremely uncoordinated, especially older people. The perking bus probably stressed him out. He did come across very cranky though.

I have dyspraxia and my spatial awareness and coordination are terrible.

I'd still fucking apologise if I'd so much as accidentally brushed against someone, let alone clouted them in the chest. Being uncoordinated doesn't mean you can also be a rude twat, you know. Christ alive.

GlitterGlobe30 · 17/06/2024 11:43

Decompressing2 · 17/06/2024 10:49

He sounds like a dick but at the same time if an elderly couple got on I would move so they could sit together so you don't sound that nice either.

As I already said, the elderly couple had shown up to the coach last minute and the coach set off as soon as they got on so I don't want to be traipsing around a coach that is already in motion with my bag trying to get to a new seat. Does that make me not very nice?

OP posts:
helpfulperson · 17/06/2024 11:48

I would complain to the coach company as they shouldn't have moved off until everyone was sat down. And I'd have moved seats so they could sit together.

SummerSnowstorm · 17/06/2024 11:59

Scruffily · 17/06/2024 08:28

Why is his age relevant, OP?

If he'd been around 30 then people would likely be saying she should have contacted the police for assault and that he's likely DV to his wife if he'll treat a stranger like that.
But for some reason in our society age is relevant, so due to being old it means there are excuses made and 10% of people think the OP was unreasonable for being assaulted 🙄

ExpressCheckout · 17/06/2024 12:11

Agree with other posters that he was probably wanting to make you choose to move to another seat. I've had men and women do this to me.

Saying that, people - and especially couples who appear not to use public transport very often - do tend to get flustered if they don't get their own way.

I've had this before - entitled couples who seem to think they have a right to sit next to each other. It's called public transport for a reason! 🙄😂

Beeinalily · 17/06/2024 12:27

Doesn't matter whether you're nice or not, you were sitting and settled, he should have gone somewhere else. As for elbowing you, you would have been perfectly justified in elbowing back. Still, you did his poor wife a favour, at least she didn't have to put up with his company for once.

I'm also, like a PP, dyspraxic, and you can identify us by the amount of times we apologise if we as much as touch you, probably runs into 3 figures!

MeridianB · 17/06/2024 12:31

VeryGoodVeryNiceChickenNugget · 16/06/2024 23:59

You were way politer than I would have been!

This from me, too.

Being elderly doesn't give you permission to be rude and physical with people. He sounds like an idiot and you did and said the right thing.

CutthroatDruTheViolent · 17/06/2024 14:54

I was on a train back from London yesterday, very crowded.

I say next to a man who wasn't elderly, but he was probably in his late 50s.

He managed to not elbow me once, and I didn't elbow him once!

Unless he has Parkinson's then no, it doesn't just happen sometimes. What a rude man.

Leidenschaft24 · 17/06/2024 14:57

Nah, he was an entitled twat who was trying to annoy you into moving.

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