How to approach re child support/arrangements

[Sundayrain99]

Trying to cut a long story short

Me + my daughter (age 3) split up when she was a few months old, he already has a 11 year old son with an ex partner who he has now returned to -
we are all civil when we see eachother and my issue does not lay with her

However I’m quite upset to learn that my ex has now booked his fourth holiday of the year with their child together as well as her daughter from a previous relationship

He is on the BC, however does not/never has provided financially for my daughter, I work part time to try and manage things but I am struggling, he also only sees her for around 1-2 hours split over 2/3 days each week as he is too busy with work/taking his 11 year old to after school activities

I don’t know how to approach this subject with him as he can be toxic and volatile, we weren’t always civil and it’s taken a while for us to get to where we are, I’m worried to bring up overnights/set day visits/financial assistance as I don’t want to be on bad terms with him and the last thing I need is a huge bust up regarding this as I know if I even mention anything it is going to cause eruptions. I guess I just need some help as well as confirmation I’m not being a B by being upset that he is going on holiday etc without my daughter

Ignore the holiday part. He can do what he wants with his money, AFTER he has supported his child financially.

I know it is hard to rock the boat and most likely cause drama by talking about money and time. But I think by not your daughter is missing out.

I would be very business like in your email and say what you propose regarding contact if you would like changes to be made, or something more permanent/regular to happen. Once that is agreed, in writing over email, then I would say that financially he now needs to contribute. That you are happy to remove friction between you both by going straight to CMS who will decide the amount and date and therefore it is fair for your daughter.

I also understand your anger at his holidays, my ex showing our eldest his VR headset while I struggled to pay nursery fees was what led me to go to CMS.