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He sees them two days a week and even that is too much, it seems !

8 replies

louiston · 16/06/2024 19:07

We have two kids, 4 and 2.

H works very hard, long days. So he doesn't really see the kids during the week, as he leaves while they're still sleeping and they're also asleep when he comes back from work.

He sees them Saturday and Sunday, but is constantly trying to escape from us.

Case in point today, Father's Day. We went out for lunch, where he just seemed annoyed the entire time. He's just always grumpy.

He's not mean to them or shouty, thankfully, but he just doesn't seem to be having fun at all. Everything is quick. He wants to leave immediately. He never wants to do things, just for them. Like take them to the playground. I have to beg to take them together. He usually doesn't want to and if we do go, he wants to leave very quickly. Then he retreats. His only hobby at the moment is mowing the lawn. He enjoys that and will spend a few hours doing that, most weekends. I often take the kids out without him, hoping he'll be less grumpy after he's had a break from us. But it never works.

I just want him to be happier to be around us. He doesn't go out and drink or anything like that. He just works and comes home. While at home he just retreats and watches TV alone etc.

I get it, he needs a break. Or he needs something else, a hobby. Something to make him less miserable around us. How can I get him to do something or to just not be as moody ?!

It makes him so unattractive to me. If he's depressed, he refuses to acknowledge it or do anything about it. He doesn't like his work, but can't change it.

OP posts:
Strictly1 · 16/06/2024 19:11

Is he simply exhausted?

Beautifulbythebay · 16/06/2024 19:15

Ask him how he sees his relationship with the dc panning out as they get older... He probably dreads being around them as he must feel like a visiting relative in their company..

OrangeSlices998 · 16/06/2024 19:15

Those are very long days if he never sees the kids awake besides the weekends. Which also means you’re parenting solo all week and then doing the lions share on a weekend too. When is your break? What do you get to do for yourself? I’d honestly just call it as I see it, you barely see the kids and when you do you’re trying to get time alone from them or leave whatever we’re doing as fast as possible, and it’s making me feel lonely and resentful!

NuffSaidSam · 16/06/2024 19:20

I agree with both pp.

He sounds exhausted and possibly depressed. How awful to spend so many hours doing a job you hate. It's no wonder he's miserable.

But also, just talk to him. Tell him what you've said here. Ask him how he sees the future playing out. Work together to find a solution, even if it's one that can't kick in immediately.

Daleksatemyshed · 16/06/2024 19:20

He's always working so he doesn't seem to feel much connection to his DC, he wants everything done so he can get back to his own interests. Sorry Op but he really isn't bothered about being with his DC

FleetwoodMacAttack · 16/06/2024 19:23

OP do you also work? Or is he the sole earner?

louiston · 16/06/2024 19:28

FleetwoodMacAttack · 16/06/2024 19:23

OP do you also work? Or is he the sole earner?

Yes I work from home.

OP posts:
TomatoSandwiches · 16/06/2024 19:32

Why can't he change his job?

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