Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To worry about the legal side of death.

33 replies

Disorder22 · 16/06/2024 19:05

Hi all,just looking for a little bit of advice from anyone whose been in a similar position.So for some context to the issue ,my ex husband has discovered he is terminally ill. We have one DC 11 and are in the middle of divorcing he has a new partner who he lives with.
We haven't told our DC yet ,they live with me full time and see him a few times a week, for this reason ex and myself have decided to tell DC together in the next few days.
As well as the worry of how to break the news another thought I have had is about legal issues.
I stayed in the family home and instead of maintenance he pays the mortgage which is about 480 a month.
As we jointly own the house am I correct in thinking he could leave his share to new partner ? If this is the case could she then force me and DC from the family home?
I'm really worried that being moved and the situation with her dad would be too much for DC.
I haven't broached this with him yet but for obvious reasons but wouldn't mind some help in regard to this.
Thanks

OP posts:
LIZS · 16/06/2024 19:26

If you are in England it depends if you are tenants in common or joint tenants. Is there life insurance to cover the outstanding mortgage?

muddyford · 16/06/2024 19:27

If you are joint tenants, in the way your house is legally owned between the two of you, the survivor automatically gets the whole house.
If you are tenants in common he can leave his half to whomsoever he chooses in his will.

Rocknrollstar · 16/06/2024 19:27

You need to take legal advice and your DH needs to make a will.

OnlyFrench · 16/06/2024 19:28

Are you joint tenants or tenants in common ?
Sorry you're going through this.

OnlyFrench · 16/06/2024 19:29

Sorry, cross posted

Original poster
Disorder22 · 16/06/2024 19:30

I believe we are joint tenants but being honest I had just had DC when we bought so was on maternity leave. I signed the paperwork to make us joint owners but didn't pay particular attention to this detail
I'm guessing they will be on the originals?

OP posts:
Weallnamechangesometimes · 16/06/2024 19:30

If you’re joint tenants it transfers to you. If you’re tenants in common he can leave it to whoever he likes

if you are joint tenants he can sever this to become tenants in common by getting a solicitor to do this without your permission

Original poster
Disorder22 · 16/06/2024 19:31

We both had to have life insurance for the mortgage,he did have a few policies which had me as the main beneficiary but when we split he told me he had changed them to DCs name. He isn't always particularly honest so I'm not sure of that's the case or not

OP posts:
Original poster
Disorder22 · 16/06/2024 19:33

We haven't sorted a financial order yet so I haven't agreed to a 50 /50 split of the house. Can I ask for a larger percentage ?I hate asking these questions at the moment but I feel like I have to protect myself and DC

OP posts:
LiterallyOnFire · 16/06/2024 19:33

So is be actually still your legal husband?

Original poster
Disorder22 · 16/06/2024 19:35

@LiterallyOnFire he is at this moment but the final paperwork for my divorce is due by mid July so then legally we would be officially divorced

OP posts:
LiterallyOnFire · 16/06/2024 19:35

Disorder22 · 16/06/2024 19:33

We haven't sorted a financial order yet so I haven't agreed to a 50 /50 split of the house. Can I ask for a larger percentage ?I hate asking these questions at the moment but I feel like I have to protect myself and DC

You can ask for anything you like, but whether you'll get it is a different question. I think I would be asking for more/all though, if only to ensure the DC eventually benefitted from his assets as well as yours.

Do you have a good enough relationship that you can raise if with him informally?

Original poster
Disorder22 · 16/06/2024 19:37

I wouldn't even mind if he left his half to DC as it could go into trust when house was eventually sold .
Our relationship is rocky and to be honest he has kept me on a need to know about this for sometime so I would say not really

OP posts:
Testina · 16/06/2024 19:39

I know this is blunt, but do you know how long he’s expected to live? Meaning, will you be able to complete the divorce?
You say that you are mid divorce - what exactly is mid? Have you agreed finances yet?
That’s where this all needs to be wrapped up - in your Consent Order.
You need to be clear how you own the house though. If you are Joint Tenants, and still married, the house is yours when he dies. If he’s likely to difficult during divorce and his life expectancy is short, you might be financially better off stalling the divorce. (sorry - I did say this was blunt)
I would go straight to a solicitor to discuss your next moves here.
For example, I would propose that his future inability to provide maintenance would mean that you should be awarded all the house.
Again, it’s blunt - but it’s a conversation you should have with a solicitor.

ExtraOnions · 16/06/2024 20:01

Don’t complete the Divorce .. just yet. Get the Will sorted first, go and get some legal advice.

Original poster
Disorder22 · 16/06/2024 20:12

@Testina we are awaiting the final paperwork but we were doing the financial order after the fact. There wasn't any dispute from him about paying the mortgage and non from me about going for additional support as that was all I wanted. We don't have a formal custody arrangement as we decided on the dates etc that were best for DC. All sounds very informal but it was worked around DC needs.
Unfortunately I'm now worried this could bite me so yes a solicitor will be my next move as well

OP posts:
HettySunshine · 16/06/2024 20:15

You can check the title of your property for £3 on the Land Registry.

If there is a restriction that states:

'No disposition by a sole proprietor of the registered estate (except a trust corporation) under which capital money arises is to be registered unless authorised by an order of the court.'

Then the property is held as tenants in common and his share will go into his estate and will be dealt with under the terms of his will.

If this restriction isn't present then you hold the property as joint tenants and his share will automatically revert to you.

HettySunshine · 16/06/2024 20:17

Make sure you go to the gov.uk/landregistry website. Other ones will charge a lot more for the title deed. It should only cost £3.

TinyYellow · 16/06/2024 20:18

Don’t divorce him.

PinkiOcelot · 16/06/2024 20:22

TinyYellow · 16/06/2024 20:18

Don’t divorce him.

This.

Emmadaily · 16/06/2024 20:25

TinyYellow · 16/06/2024 20:18

Don’t divorce him.

Agree with this wholeheartedly .

Original poster
Disorder22 · 16/06/2024 20:31

I'm not sure how I could contest it now as Ive signed the first lot of paperwork so it's literally the absolute we are waiting for .

OP posts:
pecanpie101 · 16/06/2024 20:38

I'm sorry you are going through this op. What is wrong with him? How did you find out about him being terminal? I only ask because terminal is different from last weeks of life.
I think you should be able to have a conversation about how your child will be supported after his death, does he have a close relationship with them? I would hope he would also be concerned about this and where his child will be living!?

pecanpie101 · 16/06/2024 20:39

Also how long has he been with his new partner? Surely housing and supporting his child trumps supporting her!?

Original poster
Disorder22 · 16/06/2024 20:40

He's been unwell for a while but has only just told me that it's terminal .
Unfortunately he's been very bitter since we split up and has done things to spite me even though it will affect DC.
I've had multiple conversations about various things regarding her welfare and he always does the polar opposite which is why I'm now concerned. It would be far easier to just have a conversation but I just can't see it.

OP posts: