To rip out brand new cloakroom

[Carota]

FIL lives with us. Very quickly his toilet habits have changed - he appears to no longer be able to aim.

6 months ago we put in a new downstairs loo. White porcelanosa tiles, new sink, new toilet. Everything. FIL had no issues when we made selection.

I am sick of seeing the wee stains. I have a designated steam cleaner for that room but it’s the grout that winds me up. It’s properly grungy now.

My plan is to put in a floating toilet (easy to wipe), seamless food, wainscoting half way up all around (easy wipe). I will ask FIL to wipe after each use with the flash mop. And I will steam mop regularly.

Am I insane for doing this? I just don’t want to get annoyed when I see the marks. If I know the clean up is a quick wipe I’ll be a much nicer person.

DW I’m not letting FIL know right now how truly annoyed I am. It smells that part of the house right out.

I’m scrubbing grout two times a day. Reaching behind the toilet.

If FIL is no longer able to aim, can't he just sit down for a wee? Saves ripping out a brand new room!

Also if it's no longer able to aim, will he be able to flash mop after each use? Just trying to figure out what's realistic!

Do you mean rip out a new bathroom? Yes, I think that would be unreasonable.

Could you not get a mat and replace it each evening?

Your husband needs to have a word.
He can sit down to pee.

I have asked and clearly he has not listened.

FIL is capable of using spray mop. It has a very strong smell which overpowers part of the house.

We have put something like this down but he’s also hitting the wall tiles

Yes absolutely your husband needs to speak with him
your solution seems rather extreme and if fil continues with this behaviour it won’t really resolve it
what happens for example if his aim
deteriorates further, he could soak other parts of the room. Flash mopping multiple times a day even if he is able and willing will be costly.
He may move on to other facilities in your house and could cause issues in other family homes?
is he unaware? If his coordination is so poor I hopes he isn’t driving!

I have asked and clearly he has not listened.

Unless he has cognitive issues, he has listened and understood and doesn't care. Anyone happy for me to be on my hands and knees scrubbing twice a day because he couldn't be arsed to sit to pee (which men all over the world do) would not be living in the same house as me. It's monumentally disrespectful.

In the short term, make cleaning the toilet DH and FIL's job. Just don't go in there at all.

We are Mediterranean, I have to accept parents live with their sons.

Husband can be out of the house 12 hours a day for work. I wish I could pass him the rubber gloves but I can subject myself nor the kids to the smell of wee.

if his health has declined so dramatically in a short space of time, is he likely to be able to continue living in your home for much longer?

its not pleasant, but so much £££ & disruption & its maybe only a few weeks/ months & then he moves into care & you're left with a bathroom you may want to change again?

That’s the thing his health is exactly the same. It’s just a new independent issue.

In the next few years we will be building an extension for him to live. DH’s siblings will split the cost for carers.

People in our culture do not go into homes. I accept the situation. Trying work with what I have

If you're Mediterranean and hence expected to put up with FIL, presumably a massive eruption of temper at him would also be par for the course? I have multiple Italian and Greek friends. None of the mothers would be prepared to tolerate this type of inconsiderate behaviour from their menfolk. "Forgetting" to sit down my arse.

Once you have given him a bollocking about sitting down, send to the GP for a prostate check.

What on earth is porcelanosa?