To complain about this cab driver?

[ArseholeCatIsABlackAndWhiteCat]

Went on a night out last night, and for the first time in ages took a cab rather than an Uber. I will accept that I have a small percent of the blame as I was chattier than usual (which is not at all) and I did engage in conversation.

Conversation turned to my family and I said I only had one child to which he made a few comments like "does your husband not want more? Is he not angry? You're lucky he's so accepting " and similar stuff. This is where I clammed up and started making non committal noises and very short answers. He got the hint and changed the subject so while very annoying, I wasn't quite pissed off yet.

Then he asked where I'm from and I (stupidly) answered honestly. Then he started with comments about women from my country, how beautiful we are, how nice, home makers - think comments similar to advertising on mail brides type of websites.His friend has a wife from there and she is so great, he'd like a wife like that . Even asked if I'm like that . While it might sound positive to some there was a really sleazy vibe to it all, which I've encountered several times before and I recognise a mile away. Almost a fetishisation. This really bothered me , on top of his previous comments.

I went on my phone and completely ignored him until he eventually stopped.

Would I be unreasonable to complain to the cab company?

Accept you probably met a male chauvinist pig and move on. You’ve learnt there’s a reason why you don’t normally engage in conversation with cabbies. Next time, climb in and continue looking at your phone.

I don't expect a response or even apology or compensation or anything like that. I do want them to be aware that their employee made me feel very uncomfortable( and rather pissed off ) as a lone woman using their services at night. What they decide to do with it it's up to them.

I suppose some people think it's cowardly to not say something at the time and use this option instead, but it is what it is.

In a different setting I would and I have. Same if this was let's say.. a date and he was an arsehole . I wouldn't contact the company or anything. I think it's a different situation as a service user.

Generally I would say 'Yes, complain' but, if I read you correctly, you had 2 conversations with him that you didn't particularly enjoy. On neither occasion did you tell him so but left him to infer it from your reduced interaction and body language, which he did each time and stopped talking.

At no point did you tell him you disliked his manner or conversation. I think complaining to the firm on this occasion would be a bit much.

I think I've wandered into a parallel universe with some of these responses.

He was doing his job and started a highly inappropriate conversation with a customer.

Why are so many posters making excuses for him?

@ArseholeCatIsABlackAndWhiteCat It looks like some people have such low opinions of cab drivers , that no expectations are necessary. That's rather shitty... to cab drivers.

My OH is cab driver! He’s friendly, intelligent, curious and enjoys chatting to different people. He’s not an MP, and he’s not going to sit there in silence. It’s just a conversation!

Wrong country. And continent. Interesting assumption though.

Fair enough. I can accept that point of view.

If he's having these kinds of conversations, then he's not as great as you think you are.

If he isn't, then it shows it can be done.

To be fair with this comment it is an easy assumption to make think comments similar to advertising on mail brides type of websites
Thai brides are a a stereotype

Yes it can be done, but why should a cabbie have a complaint against them because you didn’t enjoy their conversation!

But let’s have a world where aren’t curious, sit in silence or have boring conversations about the weather all the time- problem solved.

That’s a weird way to look at it. I don’t think it would be boring at all if people didn’t disrespect others like this man disrespected op. I think that would be the ideal, honestly.

So imagine it was a woman who didn't have an only by choice being questioned whether her husband is ok with it, isn't he angry or being told that "she's lucky he's so understanding ".

That goes past "not enjoying " the conversation.

You might relate to that a bit more than me asking you to imagine the feeling of becoming an attractive slab of meat (or other things depending on the specific prejudice) because you reveal where you're from. Women from your country being fetishised and asked if you're like that.

Fuck me.

Or Poland.

Yeah I agree with this.

And compensation 😂😂 I know you're not expecting compensation OP but who in this world would!?

You didn't like the conversation. You didn't tell him that. If you weren't comfortable enough then you weren't comfortable enough. But he's not a mind reader. What do you expect the company to do about a conversation a customer didn't like? He spoke positively about Thai Brides.

Or which ever continent or country he was on about then.

But your post talking about online transactions makes it sound that way.

I can understand you being upset about it OP, and i can understand why you would want to complain, but I ask the question again - what would you hope to achieve? It's doubtful he will get fired or reprimanded, they might not even speak to him. However if you think a quick email to the company boss will make you feel better about the situation then do it. Some drivers (or rather men) seem to like making women feel a bit grubby about themselves.

What did he say to make the op feel grubby?

Try reading her posts. This is from the very first one.

there was a really sleazy vibe to it all, which I've encountered several times before and I recognise a mile away. Almost a fetishisation. This really bothered me , on top of his previous comments.

Ideally, they talk to him and he puts a bit more thought into what he says to his customers and avoid another woman feel the same or even worse than I did.

And maybe(and I know I'll get a bashing for this) , gain a bit of self respect back for not being brave enough to deal with it then and there.

Is there a shortage of cab drivers that I wasn't aware of?

Yes. As with many jobs post Brexit and pandemic and with COL crisis and all the car costs etc, there is. In fact it's what most cab drivers (black cabs, minicabs and Ubers etc) I've had chats with in recent years talk about - the increased expenses and aggro and why they'll give up soon.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c2ey7g5163yo.amp

Fair enough. I learned something new today.

Of course there are limits but what he said wasn't complaint worthy.

And if you were sure it was, you wouldn't have bothered starting this thread.