AIBU: Not to want the ILs to stay for four weeks just when DS is starting full time pre-school and we might be getting a live in nanny or au pair?

[legalalien]

actually, would I be being unreasonable to object to this (haven't done it yet). ILs live on the other side of the world and descend about every 12-18 months and stay for 4-5 weeks. They are planning to come late this year and when I spoke with them at Xmas I suggested that any time except end August / start Sept would be fine as DS will be starting pre-school full time (age 4) (so settling in period needed) and we are liking to have a live in nanny or au pair starting. For various reasons they can't come before July, so are suggesting - wait for it - end August / start Sept. Will I be unreasonable when I reiterate my earlier statement and suggest either later in the year or that we meet somewhere for Xmas? Don't particularly enjoy the visits (artful understatement) so need some objective views.

(won't be back on thread for a few hours as off to meeting)

Def not unreasonable. They should have taken more note of what you said before!

Absolutely not unreasonable. You made it quite clear that this time would not be suitable and they have either forgotten this (in which case a reminder is all they need) or they have chosen to ignore it. If the latter then you need to reiterate having first ensured you have the full support of your dh.

Do your ILs work in a school/college/university? If not then YANBU

Oh, good then. They haven't forgotten (message along the lines of "we know you said x..." and are retired.

(prepares for action)

You most certainly are NOT being unreasonable. Think its even a tad rude of them to want to come then, considering that is the only time you said they couldn't come!

If they are retired they can bloody well come anytime.

Why the fcuk do pensioners insist on travelling in the school holidays?

Draw up the battle-lines and stand your ground or you'll just get another 20 years of awkwardness.

well, to be fair it's not school holidays down under. and it's effectively the earliest they can come due to various other things.

anyhow, have just seen email from DH putting stake in the ground so will retire gracefully to the sidelines.....

oh legal, stand your ground, definitely suggest other dates. it will be stressful enough as it with all the changes....