My husband and I have 2 under 2 with a very small gap. We had a rocky beginning to the birth of our second. We had just moved, his business went through a difficult time, baby came early with lots of feeding and sleeping issues and we niavely underestimated how much support we would need. The result was me having a nervous breakdown and I had quite severe postnatal depression.
Since then, our arguments have become horrible. I really wanted to leave him when our second was born, it rocked the very foundations of our relationship because I really needed him and he wasn't there for me - he was actually really unkind. He also just wanted me to take antidepressants and get on with it. Luckily drs and therapists refused and said I needed help - which he reluctantly provided and thought was an out for him. It's resulted in me being stuck in a house with 2 small babies and people we pay to be around me most of the time. Even with support, I'm so tired. I do anything else and I'm too exhausted for the kids. He genuinely believes I have it easy because he works and I don't. Everything else is on me and even at weekends, I do everything which makes me hate them as it's like looking after 3 kids. I've shared this but nothing is changing. We just argue all the time, even in front of our kids or others.
Now every time we argue I tell him to fuck off, not to come back and that I want to leave him. It's still really raw - every time I look at my baby my heart breaks remembering that time and I'm still traumatised. I don't know where I am, or if I want to leave. But I know if I keep saying it he will eventually believe me and go.
We are waiting for our first therapy appointment. I do love him and I want to make this work for the family but part of me thinks too much has happened.
Aibu- is therapy worth it? Or is it time to walk away?
Unreasonable - go to therapy give it a go
Not unreasonable - too much has happened, time to walk away and both have a fresh start