To have insisted to random 5 year olds went and washed their hands?

[SlugGloves]

I was at a children’s party today in a rather large garden, sat on some grass near my partner and children. I was in eye line of some approx 4-5yo girls who were enthusiastically stroking a slug, in the same way you’d stroke a dog or a cat. I was sort of keeping an eye out for the slugs wellbeing in case the enthusiasm frothed over into violence, as it sometimes does. I noticed one of the girls drop a handful of dandelion leaves down next to it, and then spotted the magenta bell shaped petals of some foxgloves (which were growing all around us), before I could intervene the other girl grabbed them and they’d both handled them.

I got up and said “no girls, they are very poisonous and you mustn’t touch them”, picked the petals up myself and then said “you must go and wash your hands now, don’t put them near your mouth!”. They both followed me into the house and washed their hands, no problems. I disposed of flowers and washed mine.

One of the girls dads had observed the whole interaction and indicated his agreement, obviously happy to defer his parenting to the nearest available woman. The other girls parents weren’t around at the time, but I saw them as they were leaving so I said to the mum “just to let you know I saw your little girl handling the foxgloves so asked her to wash her hands because they’re poisonous”. Mum said “oh thank you, thanks for letting me know”. My motivation in telling her mum was that if (god forbid) she fell ill later in the day her parents would know she’d handled the foxgloves.

It got me thinking about whether I overstepped? Would the Mum think I was nuts? I felt like the vibe was one where I could just as easily have been told to feck off and mind my own business. Someone made a joke that they’d got too many children anyway, so could spare one or two!

FWIW I’m a nurse with paeds experience, I’d have intervened even if I knew for certain that one of the parents would have a problem.

YABU - Mind your own business.
YANBU - You did what most reasonable adults would have done, and I’d have been glad you’d told me if you’d made my child wash their hands.

It takes a village to raise a child and you were definitely a good village / community member yesterday @SlugGloves

It is the leaves of foxgloves that are poisonous. You would have to eat them though.

You helped some small children wash their hands and no one gave a shit. An absolute non-event. Why are you still thinking about it?

Well I suppose some people are just more prone to reflection than others.

A simple 'let's wash our hands' and it happens and everyone moves on fine, I have met some people who would turn into a let's put on a dramatic sing song voice, sit all the kids down for a 20 min lecture then make up a relvant song and then go and lecture parents in a patronising voice

sink full of other adults and kids

😂😂😂

The cases I know of happened in Sydney. A baby died in the next suburb to me, it was suspected she crawled across a slug trail and then somehow ingested it. There were other cases around the same time. As I said I don’t know the situation in the UK but it has happened outside of tropical areas.

This is the first time I've heard they are poisonous so I'd be happy you did that!

Apart from the unnecessary dig at the dad, none of this is unreasonable.

As a mum I would appreciate you looking out for my kids just as in any other dangerous situation. It's part of being community.

Absolutely the right thing to do.

I’d be grateful to you.

Your dig at the dad was a tad unnecessary. Many people don’t know that lots of plants are poisonous.

One of the girls dads had observed the whole interaction and indicated his agreement, obviously happy to defer his parenting to the nearest available woman.

But you were dealing with it. What was he supposed to do? Were the children's mothers deferring their parenting too by not watching their DDs?

total non event.

Slugs and snails are full of various parasites, not just lungworm. Parasitology classes at uni made me very wary of them! I’m not an obsessive handwasher but I wash my hands very carefully if I’ve touched them.
Same with frogs. I love frogs and I’ll rescue them from the roads or from predators, but wash my hands thoroughly afterwards, because they carry salmonella.

These kids' parents sound pretty negligent.

The person who held the party with loads of young children and presumably didn't warn about the foxgloves is a moron.

I think there’s an element of thoughtlessness in that as well tbh, birthday party child is presumably well versed and trained on what they can and can’t touch in their own garden, but the other little people may not have flowers in their gardens or have been spoken to about it.

Party host did make a comment to me about it being a “safety labels removed household - we deal with natural consequences here!” - but I think when the natural consequences could well be a five year old in complete heart block and an intensive care bed, we do have to step in and prevent those natural consequences. Another little girl said “well I know they are foxgloves and they are definitely okay to touch” quite confidently, and I just said “they’re really not safe to touch darling, they could make you very poorly”.

I didn’t want to comment too much on the general discourse and opinions at the party as I can’t control those, it was more about my role in it and if I should have been as lassaiz-faire as everyone else!

You're right op. I wouldn't let "natural consequences" like that play out on my watch. There is an argument for not being too uptight and I don't think I am, but some of the lazy lax attitudes you see from parents sometimes makes me shudder. "Oh my 5 year old with the broken arm and gash in his head, yeah he won't wear a helmet and I told him not to freewheel down that massive hill only the other day but did he listen!? Accidents happen....."

I was going to say this. I'd be more concerned about the slug. They carry salmonella among other things.

obviously happy to defer his parenting to the nearest available woman.
🙄

but it's fine for the mothers not to supervise the kids and not be aware of what they are doing?

(I don't think any of the parents did anything wrong, but the dig at the "father" is ridiculous).