to wish my partner just occasionally chose to not drink with me?

[abathaday]

So I’m pregnant and my partner hasn’t changed his drinking habits at all. Before pregnancy we both liked a drink but he always drank more than me. Anyway, since I got pregnant he hasn’t changed his drinking habits at all and it’s just started to really grate on me and I can’t tell if I’m just hormonal or justified. Part of it is the fact that I feel like I’m missing out- not always, but on Fridays I do miss that cold glass of wine. It’s just becoming hard to watch him pouring drink after drink and getting silly. I find his drunk behaviour so unattractive and the fact he’s unable to give even one night of drinking up. We haven’t bought anything for the baby yet but he’s just dropped a couple of hundred on a new beer machine for gods sake. He said he’d come back from seeing his mates at 5 and he’s still out because he’s getting drunk. I just feel so alone and unsupported in the pregnancy but nothing will make him change because he’s happily addicted to booze. I don’t even know anymore, I can’t tell if I’m just bloody hormonal and fed up and have my own issues with alcohol because I miss it or it’s on him. Would I be within my rights to insist that he stops drinking for a bit or should I leave it…

Sanctimonious or what?

You were unreasonable to choose this drunkard to be the father of your child. This won't get better, so you might as well cut your losses.

I think dh has some drinks when I was pregnant I didn't see the need to make him stop he is not a child

But in the op's case I think they have bigger problems that just the 9 months

Sounds like you need an open conversation about your change in attitude to drinking , the support you need while pregnant and what you feel needs to change in the future. This will drive a massive wedge between you if he can't take on board the changes needed.

That makes a lot of sense. Not drinking during your pregnancy has given you a different perspective on it. It could be worth having that conversation with him rather than addressing his drinking directly in the first instance. See if he takes the hint.

I don’t think you’d ever say this to my face in person sweetie. Genuinely hope you’re ok xxx

It's incredibly boring when you're sober and everyone else is getting ratarsed. That's what he's doing, not just having a pint. And it gets very wearing when it happens so regularly.

It wouldnt be unreasonable to ask him to dial back on it. Apart from anything else it's a habit that'll be so hard to break. He can't behave like that especially not when the baby arrives.

You are CHOOSING not to drink whilst pregnant - commendably following guidelines for the health of your child but it is no the law.

you are making a positive choice as you are pregnant.

he is not pregnant.

if it bothers you ask him not to drink - but personally I think it is not necessary.

you are not missing out. You are making a wise choice

and I know that I will be slated for this - but if you chose to have a small drink - that is ok. Not advocating getting blotto - but one drink will not kill you or the baby. I know people will go ott at this comment and personally I didn’t drink during my pregnancy As NOT DRINKING was MY CHOICE.

my husband drank moderately at times when I was pregnant and it totally didn’t bother me