Is this sexist?

[isthissexist]

Thirteen year old is being taunted in relation to their appearance, things to do with their hair and their features and how they walk and do things, quite nasty personal comments, and they turn to the person taunting, who is a boy, and says "Well, you have long hair, you are a woman" - would you say that that is a sexist comment?

Nope.

Well, it's misogynistic- ie that being a woman is lesser, therefore it is insulting to call a male a woman. It's also bullying. Its roots are in sexism. It's bullying for sure

No, just childish.

So calling a boy, a girl as an insult? So there’s something wrong with being a girl? Yes that’s sexist. The implication is that being a boy is better. Definition of sexism I’d have thought.

Yes that's what I thought.
Sounds like someone who is not normally a nasty person trying to retaliate because she is totally fed up with the abuse she is getting. And actually failing to retaliate because this comment is the worst she can come up with.
I'm assuming the 13 year old is female. Perhaps not. But whether male or female they are being bullied and adults should be stepping in.

It's sexist.
It's implying that being female is inferior, and that males presenting in a "feminine" way are also inferior.

It's not a great comeback

Yes, it’s sexist. But it’s the lesser issue in this situation.

Yes. It’s stereotypical and sexist. He/ she was being provoked though which is mitigating to a degree, both children need to be spoken to.

yes

I feel like saying they both need speaking too is minimising the first child's actions which caused the retaliation

Was it said in a "haha you're a woman" way using woman as an insult and therefore inferior, or was it said in a "well if my hair/walk/whatever makes me x , then your long hair makes you a woman" way?

It was said in a "stop picking on me for my appearance or I will pick on you in relation to your appearance" way I think. The person who said it was stressed and upset and not thinking straight and blurting out the first insult which came to mind. Not in a "ha ha you are a woman and that is bad" way. Person who said it is in fact very into civil rights, equality, etc!

Thanks for all the replies by the way, very helpful

Why do they think being a woman is an insult?

I don't think that they intended to imply that being a woman is an insult.

Can you say why?

But do most thirteen year olds think in terms of "males presenting in a feminine way" do you think? Not sure they are mature enough to have that sort of though process, unless you are thinking about a sort of subconscious reaction?

I’d say it was just immature, and nothing deeper.

@isthissexist then no it wasn't sexist. Even in the fist instance it's a bit of a grey area, particularly if the child that said is a girl.

Out of curiosity, were the comments towards them homophobic?

I am not sure, the only examples given were specific things about appearance, they said they couldn't remember anything else because they were so stressed. They said they weren't normal rude comments which you get from time to time in class, ie by normal they meant common or usual. They said they were comments that made them feel bad deep down inside, but they can't remember what they actually were. Why do you ask?

Yes I suppose it is but when a 13 year old is being taunted I wouldn't judge them for retaliating

People should care if kids are being bullied .

yes they do, absolutely! and in school this would be recorded as a sexist comment

I have been chatting to my 13 year old and in fact you are right, they do, in relation to presenting, my mistake. However this is a separate issue not the point of the thread, and the child in question has long hair but does not present as feminine. Both children involved present as their biological sexes. The child who retaliated has male friends with long hair who do not present as feminine either. The issue I wanted to know about was whether or not saying someone had long hair and was therefore a woman would be seen as sexist, when it was said in retaliation and under stress and after being bullied for some time, and I assume you are saying yes. When you say "recorded" what does this mean, what consequences would this have?

DC has also said that groups at school watch and talk about porn, and frequently copy moves and noises of porn in the playground, and that two of the girls in the class have reported attempted rape, and the school has done nothing to try to deal with this with DC's year or the school as a whole, so in the greater scheme of things I am surprised about what you say.

Probably, because it sounds like they are putting women down.