Driving on motorways

[anon3738]

I’ll keep this short cos there’s a lot of background. I don’t have much of a relationship with my mother. I speak to her when I have to and very little details are given because she’s a control freak.

I’m passed my driving test in October 23 and she found out this morning I had planned to take my two kids (13, 8) so not babies on a ‘fun’ day trip a 2.5 hr drive away on the motorway. She absolutely booted off, shouting down the phone at me like I’m a fucking child. Telling me how irresponsible I am, to have some common sense and how she’s clearly the only one looking out for my kids. She said I need experience I’ll end up killing us all and it’ll be on my head.

im a good driver I don’t speed, I drive daily on dual carriageways. I have driven myself to Scotland and back from the Yorkshire area without an incident.
she wants me to do pass plus. I work full time am a single parent and don’t have the ££ or the spare time to take additional lessons.
am I been unreasonable to want to go where I want when I want without having to run everything past my mother.

Your thread just reminded me exactly why I went NC with my mother, and how much happier my life is without her in it!

Put her on a strict information diet.

If you want a bit more practice... im not sure which direction you drive from but I drive m62 and join m18 for work. You could have a drive down there. The slips roads become the lanes. I'm bad with direction ie north/south but from goole way becomes lane 2/3 and other becomes lane 1/join lane 2. This would be a different type of slip road to practice

This is one of those moments where if you pause you can have a tweak of the whole relationship. If she shouts you hang up or leave, if she is rude you tell her to stop and walk away if she doesn’t. Don’t lie to her. Tell her you drove to Scotland - enforce the boundaries that you want.

She can’t influence your children if you are the adult - silly grandma, she feels a bit worried about her driving…isn’t it sad she doesn’t want to get out there snd have fun. What music are we listening to… But you have to have the confidence in yourself that you want your children to trust and grow into themselves.

I bet she has always been such hard work:(

30+ years ago I did a 1 week intensive driving course and the following week was sent to drive down the motorway to another city 2.5 hours away by work. And that was in the days when you did not get motorway driving instruction! Your mother is bonkers.

You're fine OP.

My MIL is adamant that she is safer barreling her little bean can of a car round tiny country roads full of blind bends, rather than using dual carriageways and motorways, no matter how much evidence you show her to the contrary.

Don’t let her ruin your confidence. She’s probably controlling over loads of things so do not take this to heart. You passed your test and you said yourself you’re a careful driver.
You’re planning a fun day out with your kids. Maybe she’s jealous she wasn’t invited and is lashing out. Ignore her.

My elderly mother (who has never driven) often has a wobble when I tell her I’m going on a journey. I just laugh and tell her I’ve been driving over 30 years. I don’t have any angst about it and start booking advanced driving lessons. She’s talking shit and you’re a grown adult, why do you care so much about what she says?

If you've done the Manchester ring road and survived you can survive anywhere!

Give me the M25 any day of the week.