Would welcome any thoughts…
10 years ago my husband and I struggled through an extremely difficult time with our adolescent son. We became very polarised in how we tried to manage the situation in such a way that we were unable to support each other. I know my husband felt very hurt and let down by me at the time. Since then our physical relationship has dwindled, both in terms of sex and affection largely because my husband, who had always instigated the physical side of things, stopped doing so. Now if I were to be affectionate to him he’d freeze/pull away… I know this is because of unresolved anger dating back to that difficult time. This hasn’t been softened by time and nor has couples therapy helped. We don’t not get along but I feel we’re like flatmates rather than partners. I can live like this, can somehow switch off a need for more and for the most part don’t feel unhappy, but there are times I feel sad and long for a lively affection with someone… The thought of separating fills me with dread- we’ve been together for 30 years so our lives are very intertwined and we are bound together by a lot of shared history…
What would you do??