AIBU burn-out mid 40s

[HappyBugBanana]

I’ve been feeling overwhelmed and unable to cope for 2 years. I work in a technical field and have management and technical responsibilities. I’m so wrapped up in my feelings of being overwhelmed that I can’t work anymore, don’t sleep, am very tired, weird aches in my body, self centred. All symptoms of severe burnout. I have resigned as I got another job thinking it would give me a fresh start. The new job is going to be very demanding and I seriously doubt I’m in the right frame of mind to succeed at it. My current bosses are trying to keep me on by offering me more responsibilities which is the exact opposite of what I want!
All I want to do now is stop working, rest and forget about the past 2 years, enjoy dc whilst they are young. The last 2 years feel like a blur.. My partner’s income is just about enough to keep us afloat, but it will be a lot less comfortable.
AIBU to turn down these opportunities and make us poorer just because of the way I feel? I want the best for dc and partner but I feel I am breaking to pieces.

It sounds like you are at break point and arent thinking clearly.

Depending on your childrens ages and your dh id seriously consider aweek at a wellness retreat (based on your op that you can live as a HH on one salary i assume you could afford this)

I did one years ago it really helped me get clarity on what i wanted in my life. I made bigbut not wildly radical changes as a result.

There are a million options other than "quit" .... quitting might be right but equally it might not.

What is clear is you need permanent changes,be that - your dh stepping up more, 2 x per week time for yoga/gym, a cleaner, going part time, reduced responsibilities, negotiated extra annuaL leave allowance... whatever.
Only you know what that is...

Think carefully as sahm can be a hard existence too, in different ways. There are upsides but you also reduce your independence and increase your vulnerability massively. It's not for everyone

Ah mate, such a weird age for women. You can still have (very) young kids or teenagers and beyond (or both!) elderly parents, big jobs, social lives and your body/hormones start changing.

Can you take an extended break from work, like a month or something and try and get some stuff in order? Get to the gp, see if you're deficient in anything (vitamin d deficiency can make you ache and make you tired) or peri menopausal and get some treatment?

Reevaluate your finances to see what's possible for you to take some time with fewer demands, work wise.

Have some chill time/fun.

Work on a plan for the future. Sometimes when we're in the thick of it we stop asking ourselves is we are happy, if we are where we want to be, where we are moving to. What we want our daily life to be like and what we want our future to be like.

Basically reset. And then take it from there.

You poor thing. I would quit and take a year if you can afford it. If you decide after a month that you're refreshed you can start looking for a new role. And you don't have to stick with the field you trained in x

Could you take say 6 months off then get a less demanding perhaps totally different job? Then you would be bringing funds in but will have had a reset? The worry is if you carry on you may have a breakdown then you can’t do anything.

Could you take a career break in your current role? Maybe 6 months or a year before returning back to work? I have know several cases of this.

Have you spoken to your current bosses about what is happening? If you've resigned anyway you really have nothing to lose by being honest.

I went through a year of extreme stress and it resulted in me getting Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (ME) which I have now had for the past five years, I now can't work, when it was at it's worst I could barely walk up stairs. Listen to your body, I really wish I had.

Can you ask for a sabbatical? 4 day week? Or go freelance and pick your hours?

Maybe go to the doctor and see if you're menopausal and get help for that?