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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is she annoying or is it my mental health?

6 replies

AITAH · 14/06/2024 20:03

It's about a friend of mine who I've known for a long time. I feel terrible saying this but I'm really starting to find her annoying.

I think it's a culmination of things over the past couple of years, I've come to see that we don't have as much in common as I used to think we do. Our thoughts on politics don't align so I tend not to bring it up in her company but the last time she came round, she did, and I found some of the things she said to be quite ignorant and privileged.

For example, how people shouldn't depend on the government for things.. said to me, a disabled person who does have to rely on the government to an extent. (PIP) and my DD (DLA).

When I received one of my diagnoses last year and told her about it over tea she grimaced and said "ermmm" - as though she didn't believe it was right, because its 'one of those things that everybody seems to have' yet there's not much evidence for.

I got similar from her when my DD was being assessed for something.

She's one of those people who avoid medication like the plague which is fair enough if you're in good health and just dealing with a cold or whatever, but I need to take a number of meds for actual medical conditions and she somehow thinks that's a bad thing and it would be better if I didn't.

I've been laid up with full on flu for the past week which she knows, now she's sending me reminders about a mutual friends birthday coming up in a few days and telling me I should buy her something. I haven't even been well enough to take care of my own affairs, let alone think of other people. Unfortunately.

There's lots more but it would be too outing to say the more personal stuff.

And finally I'm just not interested in knowing what she's having for dinner every day. I'm not one for small talk but have entertained it because I know that she is and I've valued the friendship, but I've had it up to my eyeballs now of the pointless paragraphs on a daily basis and feel like dropping my phone down the toilet.

Would you find any of this annoying? It's either that or I'm starting to feel a bit depressed because I'm absolutely exhausted with it.

OP posts:
BobbyBiscuits · 14/06/2024 20:07

It certainly sounds like you've no legitimate reason to hang around with her. If she can't even be neutral, never mind sympathetic, about your health issues and need for medication, benefits etc. she sounds too overbearing and I can't see you getting much out of your encounters at this point. Take a step back, stop frequent communication. You don't have to see her ever again if you don't want to. I wouldn't blame you.

henlake7 · 14/06/2024 20:33

It doesnt sound like you have much in common anymore.
She doesnt seem very understanding of your medical problems and situation and you arent interested in anything she has to say either (judging by your post!).

xBeckyJayne · 14/06/2024 20:49

She sounds judgemental. Surround yourself with people who you are 100% comfortable with, accept you for who you are without any judgement or criticism 💕 xx

aerkfjherf · 14/06/2024 20:51

is she a good friend in other ways?

Sometimeswinning · 14/06/2024 20:52

I’m going to guess adhd or asd? She’s right. It’s completely over diagnosed.

Pip costs an absolute fortune so unless you know about it first or second hand anyone would think it’s just another payment from the government which makes little sense. Children receive it and people who can afford to live without it also get it.

If you are genuinely interested in seeing the other side that’s it. I’m not against PIP. I just have the capacity to see why people question it.

SomewhereOverTheHill · 14/06/2024 20:53

She doesn’t sound much of a friend, more of an ‘I’m alright, Jack’ kind of person.

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