My BIL takes my sister for granted

[Askingformysister]

My sister invited me for dinner today. She made a delicious chicken and roast potatoes. BIL also invited his 3 sisters who messaged to say they would be 2 hours late so please eat without them which we did.

My sister looks after a 2 years old toddler and works full time. When we sat to eat, my sister said there's more chicken in the oven but this is all the potatoes there were.

My BIL then ate half the potatoes (like at least 8 full potatoes), the rest of us took 1 potatoes each as we could see there was not a lot, then BIL insisted my sister make a fresh batch of potatoes for his sisters when they come.

This really annoyed me as my sister is busy and tired and he could have just eaten less but he thought it was appropriate to eat way more then make my sister make more when she was already tired. Also why didn't he just make more.

AIBU?

No - you are not being unreasonable. bIL is being a dick

Also his family is so ridiculous. Do they not know the 2 year old will need to go to sleep and it's my sister who will have to put the child to sleep. The sisters are still on the way and it's 8 pm!

YANBU at all. She needs to stand up for herself though, does she realise he’s a selfish prick or just go along with his demands?

Of course they know. They just don't care and their surroundings (family) obviously adapt to their behavior and needs.
Why should they change?

What happens when your sister says no?

I think she should have made more potatoes in the first place.

She doesn't because he just gets upsets and leaves the room! Like an overgrown man child.
Obviously this isn't the only incidence but it really rubbed me today because he normally "behaves" in front of me.

She had ran out of them. Because he didn't pick any up on the way back from work.
So now my sister had to drive to Lidl and buy potatoes while I look after my niece. She's cooking the potatoes now.

He sounds like a total brat!!! And it sounds like he, like his family are let behave to their liking and so will never change!

Why didn't you say "can't you BIL make more potatoes or are you incapable?"

Why on earth doesn't she ignore this bollocks? If dh pulled this on me I'd take the piss out of him. He's quite capable of cooking potatoes for his family and she needs to stop pandering to him. If dh took more than his fair share I'd also pull him up. Honestly, how on earth does she find this attractive?

Her choice. She needs to say no.

He is a selfish pratt, but only your sister can change this. She needs to say no and stand up to him otherwise he will just carry on.

needs to stab him with the potato peeler
just so he knows where it is.

When I complained about this, my sister said I was jealous 😭

Did your sister say what you are jealous of? Surely she doesn't think you are jealous of her greedy lazy husband who makes her cook potatoes for his inconsiderate family? Does bil think he's royalty and your sister is a servant?

He's such a pain

Maybe I over reacted because it was a long tiring week. I think I'm going to stay out of it.
My other friends said this is fairly normal behavior from their spouses apparently!

No it’s not normal, although unfortunately there are a fair few men who do behave like this. Doesn’t make it ok

It doesn’t sound like you should get involved though, Dsis doesn’t want your support. Maybe just try to avoid being there when BIL is

She sounds as bonkers as him

I have a friend like this who whitters on about how AMAZING her husband is and how he is THE. BEST. Dad

He is useless and totally disengaged.
He goes for a solo brunch for 2 hours or so every weekend for "quiet time".

She is eiither dellusional or living in egypt next to denial.
Either way I can't fix what shes got.

Neither can you.

This is not normally behaviour in a relationship.

they are supposed to be a team, if they can’t make dinner for the time agreed then don’t come for dinner.

i have a bil like that, I do stand up for my sister in the case when I’m there but she just gets on with it “like a good wife does” he thinks I’m a shit wife as I’m not as accommodating as her! 😂

yanbu but my sister is also married to someone similar it’s horrible to witness 😢

It's a shame but so many men are this delightful

Some foods for thoughts:

1. Are you jealous though? Are you single?
2. Does your sister have any issues ? If she's happy putting up with this then I would leave it alone
3. Can you spend less time in bil's company to reduce your observation of his demands?
4. Not a fan I would put up with but many would.