To make dp move house so I have a shorter commute?

[swollensnapper]

When we first moved to Manchester we chose an area that allowed for dp’s quick commute to Liverpool. We rent a cheap but nice flat. We’ve been here three years.

DP changed jobs and now has a 25 minute bus journey to work. My bus journey takes around 35-40 minutes a day. I work longer hours.

I’ve found a flat that’s a 20 minute walk for each of us to work. I really want to move to have more free time and avoid sitting on an overcrowded bus.

I’ve found a huge one bed but it’s a bit dated. It’d cost an extra £150 a month each but in my eyes that’s worth it for time saved and we’d save £50 on buses each.

DP wants to stay in this flat because it’s cheap and it is nice. He only wants to move for a two bed (too expensive) or something in tip top condition which again, is pouring money down the drain in my eyes.

You can't force him to do anything, you can suggest it but if he doesn't want to move then you're stuck unless you move without him.

I always bristle at adults 'making' their DP's do anything but that aside...

No, I'd stay put because what if either of you change jobs again? You can't keep moving flats whenever this happens and your commute isn't long anyway.

I wouldn't go through all the hassle of moving to save £100 a month (between two people) and 40 minutes traveling time a day.

In bad weather you might be glad to be on a bus reading your book for 40 minutes rather than in pouring rain and soaking wet on a 20 minute walk.

But after a long shift it’s knackering to take 40 minutes to get home. I’m an A&E practitioner.

Your commute is not long at all. Tbh you're coming across as quite petty. Surely you understand as an adult that people will never have an exactly equal commute? Your reasons for the upheaval of a house move don't stack up imo.

Seems an awful lot of change just to reduce your commute by 30 mins. As others have said you'll be better off on a bus than walking in the rain.

40 minutes is nothing. I've loved my 40 minute commute this week. Next week I have a 1 1/2 hour commute for 3 days.

40 mins isn’t long. Certainly not long enough to incur more cost to shave off 15-20 mins

It might have been useful to include a&e in your OP? I assume you're fairly wrecked getting out of work in that case. Do you sit on the bus home or are you having to stand?

I'm with your DH - why wate all threat money and the risk of moving and the woes possibly associated with it - just not worth it

moving can be and often is very stressful and long and imagine ending up next door to some clowns

So you'd be paying £100 more to save 40 mins a day? Is that right?

Plus the agg of moving.

I've done a much longer commute after a long shift, so I sympathise. It was shit and I'd have jumped at the chance to move and ditch it. But you're not even saving that much time? I'm not sure I'd swap 40 mins sitting/standing on a bus for 20 mins walking either - especially when knackered!

I don’t get it - you’d save £100 on buses but rent is £150 more per month. So you’re £50 worse off and have to move because you’re jealous that your partner has a 10 minute shorter bus ride that you to work?

The cost and stress of moving just doesn’t seem worth it to me.

But we rent. We don’t own. So it’s just a van and time.

Paperwork, deposits, packing, unpacking, 2 deep cleans and making sure you've changed your address with all the relevant people etc...

Just not worth it considering you only have a 40 minute commute.

it does have to be a joint decision im afraid.. its not fair to insist!

How do you intend to 'make him'?

Is it going to be safe to walk the 20 mins home after work every day or will you end up spending on taxis? (I’m assuming shifts here because you mentioned A&E)

The move makes sense logically. Would he be open to just viewing the flat?

Perhaps if you compromise on the number of rooms he will compromise on the move.

Will you really feel less knackered walking 20 minutes home in the middle of winter in the pissing down rain?

There’s an easy bus for when it is piddlin down

So you'll be out even more money?

Honestly, it makes very little sense to me.

You work in a&e and that's to far lol half my family work in the NHS and 40mins would be dreamy but it's not we all live roughly an hour 15 from the hospital assuming we don't hit traffic,road closure etc

In going to make an assumption that your in your first job, as you feel like it's a long commute. Others have said that it's not and really it's not.

Moving is a hassle, 3rd after death and divorce in the stress level ladder. You aren't buying or selling but you will need a deposit, references, to pack/unpack, clean, etc etc for a few minutes.

I used to really enjoy the commute as it gave me chance to think/unwind from a stressful day.