Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To take joy from someone else’s misery?

50 replies

Pompleandprim · 14/06/2024 14:28

When that person is an abusive prick?

My ex stopped having any contact with DS two years ago and had been emotionally abusing him (and arguably physically abusing him during contact time though this was never proven - I believe my DS though). DS is now 7 and thriving without him. He caused my DS a LOT of trauma though, on top of his significant disabilities.

so no contact for years but he does pay his measly bit of CMS through direct pay. However he was told back in April that the amount he pays will be increasing by £35 a month as of this month; he pays first of the month but the payment is due to me by 11th of the month.

He did not pay the increase this month. I’ve no idea if he will realise the payments have gone up, and I will not be contacting him to remind him. So I’ve informed CMS who have provided the option to do collect and pay. This will cost me 4% but the money goes straight into DSs savings anyway and I don’t need it. It means my ex will have to pay and additional 20% though - which means on top of the extra £35 a month there’s an additional £35 fee a month too.

This has made me happy. Which I know makes me petty and spiteful. But this is the definition of him LITERALLY having one job - whilst I manage various appointments, medications, tribunals and everything else on top of the daily care for my disabled child. All he had to do was stay on top of his payments and he failed at the first hurdle. As such, his payments will now increase by 40% of what he had been paying.

AIBU to take a small amount of joy from this? Because it will make an evil, abusive man who caused my DC so much trauma, miserable?

OP posts:
Pompleandprim · 14/06/2024 18:07

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

He usually pays £140 a month, but with the £35 increase and £35 admin fee that will now go up to £210 which he will be kicking himself about for the next 11 years :)

OP posts:
Pompleandprim · 14/06/2024 18:12

So glad I’m not the only one who finds this enjoyable 😁 he’s shit with money, a low earner and is always, ALWAYS in debt so the fact he’s now going to have to pay that extra 20% for the next 11 years is going to really boil his blood.

Thankfully at least he’s infertile (did I mention it’s our adopted child that he has abused and traumatised?!) so at least he won’t be being a feckless father to any other poor mites.

OP posts:
WhereYouLeftIt · 14/06/2024 18:19

It's the little things that bring us joy!Wink

AmusedTraybake · 14/06/2024 18:37

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

AmusedTraybake · 14/06/2024 18:38

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

ARichtGoodDram · 14/06/2024 18:54

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

The 20% for collect and pay doesn’t change - it’s always 20% so he’ll always have to pay 20% extra going forward because of not sorting things now.

AmusedTraybake · 14/06/2024 18:57

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

AmusedTraybake · 14/06/2024 18:58

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Pompleandprim · 14/06/2024 19:28

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

You’re assuming a basic level of intelligence and initiative there that he just doesn’t have.

OP posts:
AmusedTraybake · 14/06/2024 19:31

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Pompleandprim · 14/06/2024 19:36

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

I was young and had self esteem issues 🙃

OP posts:
BlowDryRat · 14/06/2024 19:51

TBH I opened this thread thinking it would be about people throwing things at Nigel Farage. YWNBU on that hypothetical thread either.

CatsRuleOkay · 14/06/2024 19:51

Time to pay your bastard tax matey!

Happy for you OP!

Mynaddmawr · 14/06/2024 19:53

I'm also taking joy from this and I haven't even met the man 🥳

Clueless2024 · 14/06/2024 21:08

What a prick.

Revel in his misery.

Sharontheodopolodous · 14/06/2024 21:19

KreedKafer · 14/06/2024 16:01

I was genuinely delighted when my ex died, so I think you can certainly be forgiven for gloating about someone's minor financial inconvenience.

Same
He was an abusive twat (put me through hell) who claimed dd wasn't his child (and refused a dna test) so he didn't have to pay
He didn't pay a penny for her at all as 'she gets money from the government so that means I don't have to' (backed up by his sponger family)
I was sat at home one day,when my fb pinged with a message
It was his (even bigger loser) brother,telling me to 'brace myself,I have bad news' before telling me he'd died

I fucking cheered (my only regret is I didn't find out which drug killed him-i can only hope it was a long,slow and painful death)

KreedKafer · 14/06/2024 23:02

Sharontheodopolodous · 14/06/2024 21:19

Same
He was an abusive twat (put me through hell) who claimed dd wasn't his child (and refused a dna test) so he didn't have to pay
He didn't pay a penny for her at all as 'she gets money from the government so that means I don't have to' (backed up by his sponger family)
I was sat at home one day,when my fb pinged with a message
It was his (even bigger loser) brother,telling me to 'brace myself,I have bad news' before telling me he'd died

I fucking cheered (my only regret is I didn't find out which drug killed him-i can only hope it was a long,slow and painful death)

Yeah, my ex was a violent abuser, among other things. An absolutely vile man for a million reasons.

My favourite thing about learning he’d died was discovering that he’d died of something that, back when we were together, he’d always aggressively sneered at me for making an effort to prevent. I won’t say what it was, but an equivalent would be someone claiming that seatbelts actually kill more people than they save and anyone who wears one is a gullible idiot, and then dying after getting thrown through the windscreen in a car crash. HAPPY DAYS 😃

Loubelle70 · 14/06/2024 23:05

Boltonb · 14/06/2024 14:50

Fathers who abandon their children, and fathers who pay the minimum legal amount of child support are the lowest of the low. So I’d definitely enjoy knowing he’s having a little dose of karma aswell. Well done!

Yep

KomodoOhno · 15/06/2024 00:09

It's petty and spiteful and deliciouslywonderful! Enjoy it OP!!! Karma is a bitch!

Nat6999 · 15/06/2024 02:09

ARichtGoodDram · 14/06/2024 16:06

£7 a week is what people get if the NRP is on any benefits

collect & pay wouldn’t change amount of the award.

The daft thing about NRP on benefits only paying £7 a week is some exes like mine get nearly as much as having a full-time job on NMW in benefits but only pay £7a week. If he had been working & earning what he got in benefits, he would have had to pay over £50 a week instead of the £7 a week he never paid unless I threatened him with collect & pay.

Devilsmommy · 15/06/2024 03:21

KreedKafer · 14/06/2024 16:01

I was genuinely delighted when my ex died, so I think you can certainly be forgiven for gloating about someone's minor financial inconvenience.

😂 same here

Pompleandprim · 15/06/2024 11:24

£35 just landed in my account. Suspect he’s received a message saying the payment was not full and I’ve requested collect and pay…

OP posts:
AmelieTaylor · 15/06/2024 11:34

Mouswife · 14/06/2024 14:49

It’s hard not to find relief when someone who has really hurt you gets a little if what they dish out.
you are only human OP.

just to add - I laughed out loud to the point of crying when my lying ex claimed furlough and then got caught out by the CMS. He told them he was earning less than minimum wage with his own company, but when furlough was up for grabs suddenly he earned so much more. He had to back pay thousands !!!

Edited

Oh brilliant!!

@Pompleandprim I don't think you're unreasonable exactly, but I'd rather the whole amount was going to the parent/child not in fees!

KookyGreenGoose · 15/06/2024 13:11

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Sarahzb · 16/06/2024 00:14

My eyes are gleaming with pleasure Mwahahahahah

New posts on this thread. Refresh page