No confidence

[MollyJustMight]

Since losing my husband of over 40 years, and having to learn to live alone, I find I lack confidence in doing even simple things like walking around town, getting a coffee, just being alone.

I don't know how to snap out of this feeling inadequate.

So sorry for your loss.. I think after 40 years it's only natural that you feel like that.

Be kind to yourself and maybe just go to places where you feel more confident. Eventually maybe join a group for a hobby you enjoy, walking , reading, crafts etc

It's going to take time

Sorry for your loss.

You sound lonely and alone.

Do you have any hobbies? if not, are you brave enough to try do thing new? Join a book club, knit and batter, ramblers group?, WI, ? What did you enjoy growing up?

Also, can you give permission to enjoy your life again? I’m wondering if you feel that you’re not entitled to because your husband died.

Do you like the theatre or cinema? Maybe a good place to gain done confidence as you just sit there, don’t have to talk to anyone , and enjoy the show.

And lastly you’re not inadequate!

I was so going to suggest a walking group, even just looking round local towns or buildings can help meet people in similar circumstances. If you can meet another person to go for a walk with it helps gain confidence. I often go out walking alone and love the solitude in the countryside.

Very sorry about your loss OP.
I was widowed when my DH died totally unexpectedly 19 years ago. We hadn't been together even half as long as you were so I can only imagine how hard it is for you to adjust to a new way of life. And that is what being a widow is: a total new way of life that is thrust upon you, not one that you have chosen.
So as pp said it really will take time to adjust. I know the thinking is the first year is the worst but everyone has to take things at their own pace. You have to grieve and adjust at your own pace. But you will get your confidence back.
I hope you have support from family and friends. If not I know there are organisations out ther expressly for people dealing with loss of loved ones.
All best wishes to you.

That's natural OP. It's a huge adjustment to go from living as part of a couple for so long to navigating the world without your person. Bereavement knocks the stuffing and confidence out of us, as it brings into sharp focus how painful life can be, and we lose trust in it. This often manifests in fear and anxiety about living our own lives. You need to be patient with yourself and accept this as part of the process. Don't be afraid to reach out to others as a bit of a safety net while you adjust. No one will think you're inadequate. They will understand that you're learning to live a different life and that's not easy.

Thank you for the replies.

I am looking at joining a walking group which will give me a purpose and someone to talk to.

It's probably daft, but my dog gives me comfort, but she can't talk to me and sometimes I go days without talking to anyone.

I know it will take time.

Dogs are the best!

Absolutely, I couldn't get through this without my dog.