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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to give teachers a 'snack pack' for trips?

402 replies

WhatGoesHere · 14/06/2024 09:48

so - my son is due to go on a school residential for 3 nights.
Do you think it would be weird to send him with a box/bag of treats for the teachers - to help them "get through" the ordeal long days? I'm just thinking some biscuits, hot chocolate sachets, box of celebrations - that kind of thing.

I think it might be better than a thank you of the same thing after the event? I will ask DS to write a thank you card too - as teachers are giving up time and i gather it's actually really hard work taking kids away on these things?

do you think the admin staff should get a few treats too for their office? As they presumably did lots of prep work too??

OP posts:
budgiegirl · 14/06/2024 10:42

I think there are some real misery guts on this thread. Talk of sucking up, and one-up-manship. As a cub leader, I think this sounds lovely, if a parent thought to send a box of chocolates or fancy biscuits on a cub camp, we'd be made up, and the would very much be enjoyed around the campfire in the evening once the kids are in bed. Even cheap chocolates! It's not so much what it is (although chocs are much appreciated), it's the thought behind it - that a parent has acknowledged how hard work it is to take away other people's kids, and has at least tried to do something that might help, even in a very small way.

We're lucky if a parent/child remembers to say thank you when they pick up their child from camp. We are usually dead on our feet - we've had little to no sleep for 48 hours, have put up umpteen tents, shelters and marquees, made sure all the kids are ok and are entertained, dealt with bad behaviour, dealt with homesickness, occasionally actual sickness, wet beds etc, cooked, cleaned, washed up, organised and ran activities, done first aid and medicines, cleaned toilets, and still have to take down all the tents, pack up the trailer, unload at the other end and put everything away after the cubs go home. Some parents are appreciative and will say thanks, but many won't remember to. Some will stop to help pack up if we ask, but most won't. So any little gesture that says thanks - before or after the event - is lovely.

Just say thanks when they get back and move on. It's their job. Teachers don't need more food, stuff etc etc. It's not a teacher's job to take kids away on a residential, it's voluntary, they don't get paid any extra, and they are on duty 27/7. It's hard, unpaid work.

MinervaMcGonagallsCat · 14/06/2024 10:43

Don't know about teachers but as a scout leader - I invite parents to send snacks for leaders when sending your Beavers, Cubs and Scouts off to camp.

Promise it will be appreciated. 😀

SweetChilliGirl · 14/06/2024 10:44

CheshireDing · 14/06/2024 09:56

Just say thanks when they get back and move on. It's their job. Teachers don't need more food, stuff etc etc

It's like at Christmas vouchers, chocolate, wine etc, they're doing their job.

No, they're doing more than their job. Taking children on residentials is an added extra. They are not paid for the 24hr childcare, added paperwork and all the stress this entails.

OP, I think this is a really lovely idea and would be much appreciated.

WhatGoesHere · 14/06/2024 10:44

LordSnot · 14/06/2024 10:33

Wouldn't a box of apples be more appropriate?

Boring. ;)

OP posts:
Bellaboo01 · 14/06/2024 10:46

MinervaMcGonagallsCat · 14/06/2024 10:43

Don't know about teachers but as a scout leader - I invite parents to send snacks for leaders when sending your Beavers, Cubs and Scouts off to camp.

Promise it will be appreciated. 😀

A scout leader is obviously very different to a paid primary school or secondary school teacher!

I can imagine that a scout leader would appreciate some snacks for round the campfire but, a teacher about to board a flight isnt going to be round a camp fire!

Bluevelvetsofa · 14/06/2024 10:50

As a former teacher who went on several trips, I’d be very happy that you’re grateful your child is able to have the experience and I’d love a thank you card afterwards. What I most want ( and I’m sure you will do OP) is for the parent of every child to meet them promptly when we return.

Yes, I’ve been the one with the child left behind at 11pm and no parent answering their phone.

budgiegirl · 14/06/2024 10:52

Bellaboo01 · 14/06/2024 10:46

A scout leader is obviously very different to a paid primary school or secondary school teacher!

I can imagine that a scout leader would appreciate some snacks for round the campfire but, a teacher about to board a flight isnt going to be round a camp fire!

But a teacher isn't paid for the extra time they put in - many residential are at weekends or half terms. If they are in the term time, the teachers are still giving many more hours than usual, for no extra pay.

And a box of chocolates is a box of chocolates - to be enjoyed wherever you choose to eat them!

StressyMcStressFace · 14/06/2024 10:54

WhatGoesHere · 14/06/2024 09:50

oh god - why am I being unreasonable???

You did ask!!!!

ConnectionsAnagram · 14/06/2024 10:54

Send something afterwards. They will appreciate it more. And you can make some relevant and hopefully genuine grateful comments about what your child got from the trip. It feels much less ‘performative’ to do it after the event.

As an aside, I cannot imagine the hell of a residential trip for teachers. I would hate every second and the responsibility would destroy me. A box of chocs wouldn’t cut it; I would want a knighthood!

MinervaMcGonagallsCat · 14/06/2024 10:56

Bellaboo01 · 14/06/2024 10:46

A scout leader is obviously very different to a paid primary school or secondary school teacher!

I can imagine that a scout leader would appreciate some snacks for round the campfire but, a teacher about to board a flight isnt going to be round a camp fire!

Where I live all school residentials are to outdoor centres (no flights). Same venues we often take our Scouts. Some residentials even involve camping and campfires.

I think teachers are just as enthusiastic about snacks as scout leaders. And as many have said the teachers have to go above and beyond the day job to staff these residentials.

Seedsout · 14/06/2024 10:57

Performative and frankly weird.

As a teacher this would go on the work WhatsApp and everyone would laugh at it. Sorry but true.

a thank you email after is plenty.

SpringerFall · 14/06/2024 10:58

WindowViper · 14/06/2024 09:51

It’s a bit like you’re sucking up. Others might feel pressure to do similar.

It is a nice thing to do, but a little OTT.

I personally wouldn't do it but is this line these days

'Don't do anything nice because it might mean others feel they have too' really?

WhatGoesHere · 14/06/2024 10:59

Seedsout · 14/06/2024 10:57

Performative and frankly weird.

As a teacher this would go on the work WhatsApp and everyone would laugh at it. Sorry but true.

a thank you email after is plenty.

They'd laugh at being given a box of chocolates???

What kind of horrible places have you worked at where this is a normal behaviour?? 😨

OP posts:
mewkins · 14/06/2024 10:59

We're near the end of term. Just do usual end of term gifts and a thank you card referencing the trip. My ds would be cringing if I made him give a special thing to his teacher when no one else was. I feel that your plan is a bit 'extra'.

Revelatio · 14/06/2024 11:01

Doesn’t have to be biscuits and chocolate? Could you get something more inclusive? Definitely do it when they get back though, no one wants to be lugging around extra stuff and they can then share in the staff room and not feel that have to share with the children.

BudgetQ · 14/06/2024 11:01

Teachers just want a thank you. A genuine one, which is best communicated through words.

The gifts are usually just parents competing with each other and wanting their little darling to be looked upon favourably. We know this.

msbevvy · 14/06/2024 11:06

Arghgerroffyabastard · 14/06/2024 10:01

I think the miseries on this thread are imagining how they would feel seeing another parent doing this, and they’d probably feel “well, that’s OTT” as a way to avoid feeling jealous for not having thought of it themselves.

I’m imagining how I would feel to receive this as a teacher, and I think it would be lovely to be thought of. There will be a number of teachers, so one package of treats isn’t going to be hard to carry.

Can you imagine being a parent who struggles to be able to put food on the table witnessing this and feeling unnecessary pressure to follow suit?

If one child does it other children will want to do it but may not have the money for it . It would definitely feel like currying favour for the child that gives the gift.

Other children might be jealous and treat your child differently because of this act of perceived sucking up.

I recall the parents if a girl at my secondary school would give OTT gifts. This just caused her embarrassment amongst her peers.

FlabMonsterIsDietingAgain · 14/06/2024 11:07

Having packed a kid up for one of these things before, you will be very very limited on space. Your DC will have to be able to carry everything on and off of the bus by himself.

Once you have 3 sets of clothes and a spare just in case, PJs, sleeping bag, toiletries, pillow, spare shoes, teddy, book for quiet times and all the other assorted 'essential items on kit list' packed he'll have a massive backpack and sleeping bag/pillow to lug around.

I think the idea is really really kind but the practicality may be difficult to achieve.

Blondephantom · 14/06/2024 11:09

As a teacher who has done residential trips, the last thing I would have wanted was someone handing over chocolates while I was trying to get everyone organised. The start and end of trips are the most stressful parts.

A thank you really is all that is required. You would be amazed at how many children and parents don’t say it. I would suggest giving a gift the day before so it can be packed or the day after they return if you really feel you’d like to.

BlankSpaceForBrains · 14/06/2024 11:13

OP just take it as it was a nice thought but that this thread has shown that no, it probably isn't suitable. Lots of teachers etc saying not to do it and to be honest it's a bit OTT and arse kissy.

BurbageBrook · 14/06/2024 11:36

As an ex teacher who did residential trips I'll go against the grain here and say I - and my colleagues - would have loved a tub of Celebrations or similar!

BurbageBrook · 14/06/2024 11:37

Seedsout · 14/06/2024 10:57

Performative and frankly weird.

As a teacher this would go on the work WhatsApp and everyone would laugh at it. Sorry but true.

a thank you email after is plenty.

Wow, you and your colleagues sound really mean and bitchy.

aerkfjherf · 14/06/2024 11:41

here is an idea, give it the day before, through the school, and anonymously - no "favour curried" or whatever, just the nice feeling or being thought of, and cared for. It can be left on the reception desk for example, with a label saying who it is for and you would like it to be annonnymous

GivemestrengthHoho · 14/06/2024 11:45

It's something else for them to worry about , especially if they have children with allergies who could get to them.

SoftandQuiet · 14/06/2024 11:46

I’m glad the scout leaders have replied. My DH took children away for a week each summer for 15 years and no one ever got him anything to thank him. So yes I think if you want to do it it’s a lovely idea, just don’t make a big show about it and embarrass anyone.