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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what you would think…

20 replies

Itchenn · 13/06/2024 20:44

If the guy you started dating with still has a lot of photos/tags/videos on his social media of his ex? They had a long term relationship…

would you be okay with it?

OP posts:
Screamingabdabz · 13/06/2024 20:44

No, it would be a red flag for me.

FuckTheClubUp · 13/06/2024 20:44

Not for me, no

Springwatch123 · 13/06/2024 20:45

Are the tags historical, rather than new? If so, we all have a history.

aerkfjherf · 13/06/2024 20:46

well, that is his history, is he supposed to pretend he germinated in a vacuum?

Original poster
Itchenn · 13/06/2024 20:48

They are old ones. The last one would be 10 - 11 months ago.

OP posts:
Pocketfullofdogtreats · 13/06/2024 20:50

Not a problem, so long as he has actually moved on.

Sunshineclouds11 · 13/06/2024 20:51

No wouldn't bother me

aerkfjherf · 13/06/2024 20:51

it would bother me more if he destroyed all his records of his past and pretended it at never happened - that would be weird

Springwatch123 · 13/06/2024 22:24

That wouldn’t bother me. I don’t look at my social media from a couple of weeks ago, and certainly not a year ago.

You either trust him or you don’t.

BananaHammock23 · 13/06/2024 22:26

Personally I would be more put off if someone tried to erase their entire past

Aquamarine1029 · 13/06/2024 22:27

Would you expect him to throw away photo albums, letters, gifts from her, etc, if we were back in pre-internet days?

This woman was a big part of his past. Nothing is going to change that.

ShowerOfShites · 13/06/2024 22:27

Itchenn · 13/06/2024 20:48

They are old ones. The last one would be 10 - 11 months ago.

Well it'd be a bit weird if he didn't, wouldn't it?

What's he supposed to do, obsessively go through and remove them all?

He can't erase his past. It is what it is.

ShowerOfShites · 13/06/2024 22:27

Screamingabdabz · 13/06/2024 20:44

No, it would be a red flag for me.

In what way?

Biskitin · 13/06/2024 22:28

I personally would remove these before embarking on something new but he sounds oblivious. Equally you have only just started dating so might look a bit insecure if you mention it

HashB · 13/06/2024 22:29

Wouldn’t bother me if they’re old posts etc.

I actually think it seems a bit immature to delete every last trace of someone just because you broke up. I get it if something horrible/traumatic happened but just your average break up? Bit odd.

Loubelle70 · 13/06/2024 22:31

When my relationships finish i delete everything, start afresh. Everyone is different though.

Aquamarine1029 · 13/06/2024 22:32

Loubelle70 · 13/06/2024 22:31

When my relationships finish i delete everything, start afresh. Everyone is different though.

For me, that would be a definite red flag.

Loubelle70 · 13/06/2024 23:26

Aquamarine1029 · 13/06/2024 22:32

For me, that would be a definite red flag.

Show quote history

Everyone is different like i say. Any memories worth saving are in my head...not in things or online

PeonyAndBlushSuede · 14/06/2024 00:31

Loubelle70 · 13/06/2024 22:31

When my relationships finish i delete everything, start afresh. Everyone is different though.

Same. I find that men aren’t like that though, they don’t pay as much attention to stuff like that.

If you don’t like it OP, and you are in a relationship with him- ask him to delete them if it makes you feel uncomfortable. His reaction will tell you if you’re compatible or not.

oberst · 17/06/2024 13:12

Itchenn · 13/06/2024 20:44

If the guy you started dating with still has a lot of photos/tags/videos on his social media of his ex? They had a long term relationship…

would you be okay with it?

My partner and myself still have photos on our phones of our ex's etc. it's just in the past.

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