Would I be a CF?

[Gingerbread34]

More of a WWYD. I have a good friendship group who all live close by. They all have much bigger support networks and never ask for any favours, whereas my support network is just DH and my parents.

DH and I have been given a last minute chance to go to an event on Saturday, but we have a dog. The event is an hour or so away, starts at 4pm and we wouldn't get home until gone 11pm. My parents would normally come round to look after the dog but they're away this weekend.

I have a good friend who I know would happily look after my dog if she's free but she's already looked after him for us in the last month and I'm really reluctant to ask her again because I can never return the favour (she has dogs which are massive and bouncy, my house is much smaller and we also have a nervous cat - our dog is older and very chill with the cat). Friend, like all the others in the group, never asks for favours as she has a big family who she'd turn to for help first, and her family always look after her dogs if she needs them to.

I'd love to go to the event but I don't want to be the person always asking for favours when my friends never need to ask me. I have offered help to all of them before but 99% of the time they have family they would ask first. DH and I also only have one car which he often needs for shift work, so I'm very rarely the driver if going out with friends (but I always offer petrol money).

Would you ask or not? I'm worried I look like the CF of the group who always needs a favour. It's not essential we go to this event, it would just be quite nice! I've known friend for over 15 years and I don't ask for favours regularly as my parents can often help if we need it, so I might be overthinking it, but DH also felt uncomfortable about the fact we can never return the favour.

Group message along the lines of

"Me and dh have got tickets for X 😱🤩 I'm so excited! We desperately need to find a kennel or sitter for dog (X, I know you normally help us and but I also know you've helped recently and I don't want to put on you again because I love you to bits and it's just not fair). Can anyone recommend a good pet sitter? Would just feel better if I had personal references."

OP - I say this kindly: I know a sitter is scary for you and might be an unexpected expense, but you do need to find a way to start living with your dog, not putting life on hold or stressing yourself out or asking too many favours. This is part of dog ownership X.

Can the dog not manage alone for a few hours? Take it for a long walk before you leave? Our dog could comfortably manage that length of time alone. She just slept

What does looking after him entail? Can't you just ask her to feed him at 7ish and let him out for a wee? 10 min job? Or a neighbour if dog is friendly?

I think most CF don't put any thought into whether they are CF or not so I'd say on that basis alone you're probably not.

I'd maybe address it head on and say look I'm conscious of not returning the favours, is there something I can do?

I do agree with a PP that you probably need a kennel sorted as back up, or a dog walker who could pop in and feed/let dog out for a wee. So I'd make that a priority to get sorted.

I have a friend who is v anxious to ask me to look after her dog, I don't know why as I absolutely love it. Just ask. If I couldn't do it I would just say no and there'd be no hard feelings

To the folk asking why a dog can't be left for hours - maybe your dogs can, but the OP knows what her dog would be happy with. Ours can't be left at all- she's just not used to it, since usually one of us is here with her. (Which is, in part, why we felt we were in a position to get her.)

We've also looked after dogs for friends and neighbours, OP. We actually relish the opportunity as we love dogs, our dog enjoys it, the kids love it, and so it's win win. Add a bottle of wine and the knowledge that you've enabled someone you like to have a night out, and I very much doubt there'd be any muttering or grumpiness!