Birthday party

[Lala23489]

So my daughter is having her 2nd birthday party this weekend. We have kept things very minimal and have only invited immediate family who we see regularly. simply because of space and we want to enjoy it.

However my sister has requested that she brings a man who she has only been dating for a few weeks and another child (not her dates child)- just to note, we have never met any of these. AIBU to say no?

Wtf does she want to bring him? Just say no

It’s not unreasonable to not want random people at the party.
You just have to think whether it’s worth the hassle it might cause between you and your sister. Is it worth potentially falling out with her over it? I don’t know what your relationship with your sister is like, but if it’s good enough you should be able to explain it to her without her taking it too badly.

I think I’m just frustrated that she would think that it’s ok. She doesn’t have a tendency to take too well to these types of things and jumps to the conclusion that I don’t like her. Which is not true at all, I just don’t want 2 extra guests that nobody knows

Who is the child?

It is one of her friends children

YANBU, it's totally up to you who you invite.

Unless she goes through men very quickly, let her bring him and feel welcome from early on. I was invited to my now husband's 80th birthday after a few weeks. Is she babysitting the child? I'd probably say yes to that too if she is and make them welcome!

It's not unreasonable to want to bring your new partner/BF at parties. The number of weeks they've been together is irrelevant if it feels serious enough to them.

The guy must be, if he's ready to go to 2 year old family birthday party with some random child 😂

My issue is that they’ve only been on a few dates… and not very long got out of a long term relationship, seeing other men ect. So I’m not overly sure if it’s a serious thing?

If it was a bigger party in a venue or whatever then that would be fine whatever; however it’s just a really small thing with a handful of people

if she was married, would you expect her to come alone? That's what it comes down to really. Anything else sounds judgemental.

Most people I know introduced their new partner like that, bringing them at some family gathering. They honestly didn't organise a big reveal event themselves.

its your childs birthday party, which you want to celebrate with your family.. its not an opportunity for your sister to turn up and introduce her new fella...

its a not from me

I can't see a problem
What do you think will happen if she brings them?

Absolute bollocks. OP isn’t being judgemental and there’s clear blue water between married and having had a couple of dates. Plus ones to toddler birthdays are not a thing.

I totally get that.
I personally just feel like it’s a child’s birthday and I myself would be to preoccupied with my child, I wouldn’t feel overly comfortable with having a stranger there that she has only just met. Numbers have been restricted as it’s just in the garden, so this is an extra 2 strangers when if we had the option/space we would want to invite people that we knew to be there
thank you for your reply x

Thank you.

I don’t mean to come across judgmental at all.
I just feel like that if I had room for 2 extra people then there are other people that I would want to be there for my child birthday not people we have never met

it's not bollocks at all. If you play the "no ring no bring" card, you are making judgements, even worst when you decide what number of dates they must have had before they are accepted

How does that work? You ask them to record the number of times they have sex?

That's how many people fall out with their in-laws btw. Being very ungraciously received the first few times and never recovering from it.

Guests coming with partners, boyfriends or husbands, at family gathering is definitively a thing for most people

Sister's husband would probably have been in her life more than a few weeks.

Why on earth would anyone be OK with a random stranger to OP being at her toddler's birthday party?

If sister wants to introduce a new boyfriend to family, a 2 year olds birthday party is not the place to do it.

Extra child that no one knows isn't acceptable either, either sister says she can't look after friend's child that day or doesn't come to party.

Sister sounds very entitled and not safeguarding her child/children from men she barely knows either.

You'd happily allow a strange man around your two year old little girl?

this is nonsense! It’s not “a family gathering” it’s a little child’s birthday. A child who will likely be a bit overwhelmed by the excitement of the day, and whose parents who will be fussing keeping little child happy not entertaining a stranger. I’d find it terribly awkward to be introduced at an intimate party like this, where I clearly have no business being.

And why would sister bring a random extra child?

OP it’s totally ok to say to your sister “another time, when dc is older and we have a bigger venue, I’d love to invite your partner and maybe some extra kids, but this year we have deliberately kept the party really small as dc is still only little and it’s an awful lot for them to contend with. Hope you understand. Would love to meet your new SO though!!! Can we organise drinks or a family bbq over the summer when everything will be more filled out?”

That is a perfectly put message, thank you. X