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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

About these women constantly commenting on my weight?

28 replies

whalesonthebus · 13/06/2024 12:13

NC for this as I’ve already confided in my sister and friend. I have lost 6 stone through diet & exercise after a lifelong battle with my weight and binge eating. It was very hard work and I still need to lose about 1 stone to reach a BMI of 25. During this time I also changed my hair colour from dark brown to blonde. I look completely different and so far have maintained my weight loss for the last 10 months. This isn’t a stealth boast - I’m still a size 14, have a lot of excess skin/apron tummy and general self esteem issues after a lifetime of being obese.

After I’d lost the first few stone, obviously people commented/complimented me. This was nice and made me feel good. It included friends, colleagues and clients. I do shift work and every 2-3 weeks I’m on with 3 particular women. One comes across as sweet but can be quite catty about others behind their backs, the others 2 are nice enough. If it’s relevant, the catty one is slim and blonde. EVERY single time I walk into the office, they keep exclaiming how slim I look (I’m not, just average). Gushing compliments, comments about how light my hair is and congratulations for “keeping THE weight off.”

It’s driving me mad now. I’m dreading every shift with them and feel incredibly self conscious. It no longer feels like a compliment and is starting to feel like very subtle bullying. Like I’m basically still the fatty and they can’t believe I’ve managed to stop stuffing my face all the time. Any good responses would be much appreciated. I can speak to their manager however it’d be really awkward then. So as to avoid drip feeding, they are all in their early 60’s.

OP posts:
HousedInMySoul · 13/06/2024 21:59

Yes it always pulls me up short when I realise, once again, that I'm being scrutinised. I also have noticed that it actually causes me to eat more if I get a "compliment" about having lost weight. I was reading 'fat is a feminist issue' again recently and Susie orbach attributes this to a rebellion against the accepted standards of female beauty and body size. I just don't want to hear it anymore tbh

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 13/06/2024 22:58

I hear you, HousedInMySoul. Treat those comments with the contempt they deserve and try to dismiss them from your mind if you can.

The only non-confrontational way to combat it is ignore or change the subject. If you're able to tell them to stop talking about your weight/body then more power to you. The sooner that women stop talking about other women's bodies, the better. We're better than that.

whalesonthebus · 14/06/2024 11:57

Thanks again to everyone x

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