New baby in family

[Vanillafrappe]

Aibu to feel quite annoyed that my DD who is 4 seems to be completely ignored now there’s a new baby (my Dsis and her partners). Everyone was together the other day and most were cooing over the new little one and said maybe one word to my DD and acted like she wasn’t there

It's just the way it is. In my family there's a running joke about the title of "little precious" bestowed on me by a jealous sister when I was the youngest. The title is always held by the youngest child, currently my three year old, but it will pass on again when/if a new baby comes.

YABU. A new baby is always going to be the centre of attention for a while. Just like your dd was when she was a newborn. Seriously, get assume perspective now. It'll serve you well as time goes on.

Tale as old as time…..same as this if you have another one…..a new baby is exciting ….it will be the centre of attention for a while

I’m with you OP. No child should be just pushed out just because there’s a new baby. Yes a new baby will be centre of attention but it doesn’t excuse family completely ignoring the older DC

YABU. Though I guess you can’t really help how you feel. Try to see things through your sister’s eyes. Step back and get some perspective

*some perspective

You and your baby had the spotlight once. Why can't your sister?

Normal but I agree it's a bit shit. Whenever I go meet new baby of friends I always take a seperate present as a 'big brother' or 'big sister' present and go in and make a fuss of them first and phrase it as ooo I someone is a big X, here is a present etc and try make them feel special before I broach new sibling. Usually works well and means older one goes yes I am and wants to show them to me so they aren't jealous or pushed out when I meet them. The baby won't remember, it wouldn't kill them to make an initial fuss about her having a cousin now etc.

I don't think you're being unreasonable, they can give your daughter some attention and respect too, and not make her feel shoved aside. You can enjoy a baby and still be inclusive.

Was it really 'one word' though?

I'm sure they said more than that, or did she make no attempt to talk to the adults either?

This is my thinking.

At that stage, my 4 yr olds would have taken a book over to get Grandpa to read it for them, and so forth.

However, YABU to not allow ANY new parents the spotlight - just as you had it, I'm sure.

It took one at least twenty minutes to even say hello to her when we got there and it just felt like we were not welcome. Everyone was chatting and I couldn’t get a word in edge ways and felt we were both pushed aside. If someone was holding the baby and my DD tried to show them something they were dismissive and were just staring at the baby. I understand baby is new and it’s exciting but most of them were acting like DD wasn’t in the room with us and that she wasn’t as important

My DD does gymnastics and she even tried to show something she’d learnt and they couldn’t even pretend to be interested and GGD was even shaking his head like she had done something bad

It'll calm down soon OP.

My children are 12 years apart and my eldest said that she is glad that she is 12 and had a long run at being the youngest because she got all of the attention and can now appreciate a new baby without needing the attention. Mind you, even at 12 she was worried about no longer being the baby in our family.

Im saying this because it’s what is expected. If you want your DD to get the attention she needs and to do get gymnastics (bars in mind that people probably wouldn’t want someone flipping and cartwheeling around a newborn) then give your DD the attention she needs and invite family over to yours where she can be the baby again and put on a show.

It’s normal - fortunately it’s not forever.