To be stricter on screen time and ask how you decide what to allow?

[sundaydayisnotmyfundayday]

I am the first to put my hands up and say this is my fault. I should have been stricter about this from the start but I was, I think, a little naïve and far too lax.

Our 9 year old spends far too much time on screens. Given the chance he will happily play on fortnite/roblox from when he wakes up to when he goes to bed.

He didn't do his previously agreed upon chore of drying up last night and the consequence was that he was not allowed to continue on screens.
His reaction to this was pure rage and it has made me determined that we need to parent this aspect of his life much better than we have been.

OH agrees and hates how much screen time ds has but won't actually do much about it. this is a massive bone of contention between us and I have all but given up expecting his support. I am so tired of feeling like I am swimming against the current

AIBU to ask for your input here so that I can put together some kind of plan please? How much screen time do your children of a similar age have?

Well don’t for recognising and wanting to change, it’s not too late. Yes it will be challenging behaviour wise for a while while he finds other activities but it will pay off! Our rules are 1 hour per day, 2 at the weekend, or holidays. More if unwell!!

I’ve got a 9 year old boy. He’s not allowed Fortnite (isn’t it for older kids?) or YouTube.

He isn’t allowed his tablet or TV before school, ever. He listens to an audio book via Alexa or reads when he wakes up.

Mon, Tues, Thurs he and his sister watch TV after Afterschool club. What with dinner and sports activities sometimes it’s only 30 mins. Never allowed to watch his tablet at bedtime. Again audiobook or reading.

Wed and Fridays after school (no Afterschool club those days but I am still working from home) he has 2 hrs of tablet time and he tends to watch stuff on Netflix or Amazon.

Weekends after lunch they have 2-3hrs of screen time which can be on his switch or tablet. We tend to do something active together as a family in the mornings so I don’t feel bad about him then chilling in the afternoon and when they come off it I try and get them out again for bit on bikes/scooters/football in the park.

My 6 year old gets none in the week, saturday mornings and an unlimited amount on Sundays. Often in dribs and drabs between food shopping, seeing family etc.

Our main rule is that anything that results in a tantrum or rude behaviour when she is asked to do something else e.g. brush teeth, is permanently removed. As a young child, that meant no episode based stuff so no Peppa, no Bing etc. Films were usually fine. No tablet games for the same reason.

She is only allowed tv as a main activity. She has to actually be watxhing and engaging with it so no playing and having the tvon in the background or flopping round on the sofa. If that happens, she is asked to choose tv or something else, if it happens again, tv is off.

I’ve got a 6 and 8 year old. Their main screen time of choice is iPads probably with games/netflix/disney etc. the 8 year old definitely became a lot more iPad obsessed over the last 9 months and we’ve had to be stricter.
In the morning they can have iPads once they’re dressed- they can watch them with breakfast as I’m always doing jobs etc.
After school- the 8 year old has to do homework and piano practice first and is then free to use screens. 6 year old has no homework so can use if they want but usually chooses to play. They turn off automatically at 6:30, they also turn off if they reach 2 hours (unusual on a week day as they just don’t have time!).
On a weekend they have them as soon as they wake up. Again it’s set to two hours and then they turn off automatically. We would then say no more screens until much later in the afternoon. So it’s then time to play, or we’ll do something or they’ll have a list of jobs to tick off in terms of any project homework or if there’s something specific I need them to do. We might then put more screen time on in the late afternoon once we come in from being out, or if they’ve completed their jobs. This works well for us. I think in the holidays though I’ve decided I’m going to allow one hour per day to start with and then they can earn the second hour by doing some English/maths (just a page from one of those cgp work books) per day or doing whatever else I’ve put on their list. I don’t want to use up the whole 2 hours by 9am- need something in the bank for bribery purposes!!

I just put a screen limit on my sons iPad, and now phone. So, if you have Apple products could you do that?

I have a 12 year old. No screen time M-F; two to three hours on Saturday and Sunday. I wanted to establish reading as an enjoyable leisure activity for life, and that’s difficult to do when competing with fast-moving images on televisions, other devices, as well as electronic games; so very limited screen time when he was young as well.

Nearly 12 and 8. None at all on weekdays. We are also a low screen family in general and have always been. My top tip is to let go of the idea that kids need entertaining or to be busy. And that when they wait for something they need to be occupied and so if you are busy they need screens. Mine are old enough to occupy themselves- they don’t need screens to ‘distract’ them. I think when they are younger it’s harder but if you hold firm they learn how to occupy themselves with no expectation that they will be handed a screen.

On weekends they might watch sport or a movie. Or a couple of episodes of something. I don’t have time limits but sometimes we literally go weeks/days without screens (we have sometimes gone a month or more without the TV being switched on) and there might be a day in the holidays we watch back to back movies. Or last weekend when there was football, cricket, formula 1 etc.

My daughters are 9 and 13. We have always had time limits on the tablets. Half an hour for the tablet. Tv in the evening only. Homework/ reading etc done first.
Eldest now has a phone which she has an hours limit for with no access to social media except for snapchat (with parental controls). Nintendo too but they don't use it too much - I think that would be harder with boys? They have always been used to limits so it's not such a big deal. So many distractions I like them to have time to read school books and be outside.

Two DC- one in Y4, one in Y2. They get a max of 90 mins a day in the week- often use less but iPads would go off automatically at this point. Can use it in the morning before school but after school can’t use it until homework done (mostly the elder as the younger just has reading). At the weekend they get 2 hours and then they go off- we do sometimes allow more later in the afternoon/evening once any jobs/school work are done, house tidy etc on a Sunday. But usually not until it gets to sort of 4pm.

I think content is as much an issue as amount of time so we don’t allow Fortnite/Roblox/youtube at all.

At primary age my kids had no screens on weekdays and max 2 hours at weekends.