Lone parent families. Deadbeat dads and Father’s Day.

[ItWouldBeRudeNot2]

My children’s father is incommunicado. He has not been to see them for years. They are 11 and 12.

Every year on Father’s Day, I feel a sense of shame and annoyance with myself that I had children with such a crap specimen of fatherhood. I feel sad that such fantastic children have experienced rejection.

My own dad is fine but lives overseas.

How is it best to deal with Father’s Day when your children’s father has revealed himself to be a deadbeat dad?

My dad was a deadbeat, my Mum just totally ignored the day and I've never really given it any thought. That said.i am old so it wasn't as commercial and easier to let it pass you by I guess.

It's just a day. Carry on as you normally do. A friend lost her partner a year ago a few days ago and I know they not celebrated fathers day with her 7 year old...

My dad was an arse and I can promise you not only I have no clue when the father's day is but I also never felt rejected or blamed my mother for having me. You are majorly overthinking this and are more likely to pass your anxieties to your kids who, in all honesty, probably wouldn't have cared otherwise.

Take them out and do something fun and distracting instead. It's not your fault op. You also don't want to dismiss their feelings, as I'm sure they're aware of it too.

My girls largely ignore it. Their bio dad has nothing to do with them and their dsd died 3 years ago. They do put a post on fb for him though (it’s their way of thinking about him on the day)

I never knew my dad, and my mum remarried 5 times, and one of those was abusive to both me and my mum so I'm afraid I've got no good feelings about Father's Day either - and sadly my kids' dad is the same as yours and I feel so keenly that it's my fault they have a dreadful father but I talk about it with my kids and would always support them if they wanted to send him something - but they don't. I think you can talk to them about it and support them however they feel about it. It's good to at least have the conversation I guess.

We ignore it and treat it like a normal Sunday.

Would they have much knowledge of it if you didn't raise it with them? In our house it's hardly mentioned in the run up or on the day.

That said, you could turn it around and do something nice with them. Call it a second mother's day or a mum-loves-her-kids day or something, offer them a treat and see what they fancy.

Go out and celebrate yourself! You’ve done the job! Take the praise and enjoyment!

I never had a dad, I never even met him. I honestly wouldn't make a thing out of it. Just treat it like a normal day

Fuck it then. I will just get on with the day. X

Just treat it like a normal day, but do be open to your kids wanting to talk if it brings up stuff for them.

I had a loser for a dad and now a mum I’m NC with as an adult (my dad is dead). It can be a painful day thinking about either one of my shit parents, but I just get on with it. It is nice though when people acknowledge it’s a potentially difficult day.

In the card shop today I saw a card "to my amazing mum on Father's Day" celebrate your family on Father's Day, they come in all shapes and sizes

My DC haven’t seen their Dad in over a decade. However my Dad is the best Grandad ever so we all get together to celebrate him, which he absolutely deserves. 🙂