To stay with a partner I don't find attractive?

[avartea]

If I feel he is perfect for me personality wise? As close to a perfect match as possible.

I don't find him unattractive by any means. I love touching, kissing, being intimate with him. I can also appreciate he is a good looking man.

He is also good in bed. But I don't find him sexually attractive, he doesn't turn me on. Sex isn't a chore, but a lot of the time I can't be arsed and I really have to concentrate and get into my own head in order to become aroused.

AIBU?

All this.

Gosh, this is so much the opposite of what I'm used to seeing as the problem, which is: what if you're so attracted, physically, but he's otherwise a total asshole.

Short summary of my belatedly 30y experience and decision: in he's an actual asshole, no matter how good the sex, ditch. But you seem to be talking about something more subtle.

In your case, think this through a little longer. How much can you deal with bad times? I promise you they will come, eg (as above PP) when children come and your libido does fall apart (it really WILL, if only for a while: though a while will add up if you have multiple children)? Then again, if the sex isn't good, why would you ever try?

I've read, and to some extent seen, that the best simple basic test is: if he smells good to you, that's good news.

Please come back in 20 years and let me know. It will be too late for me, but I'll be very very interested (and sympathetic) to your info.

If you've been together for five years, I think you are past the point of getting turned on just looking at a person or thinking about them. That's more something for the first few months.

Enjoying intimacy once you get in to it is completely normal, if not the only option, after a year or two.