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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To worry our son is had some dark thoughts

8 replies

timeformetime · 11/06/2024 16:29

I spoke to ds today, he's an adult but we catch up regularly and recently he's been so exited to tell me how well his business is going and his life seems to be going well but then he was yawning and said he didn't sleep much last night because he had a lot of dark thoughts about suicide and just felt uneasy.
We talked and he can't seem to think of anything that has triggered this and doesn't have anything that's worrying him.
I did suggest he speak to the doctor but he says he's fine now it was just how he felt in the night and if it happened again he's seek help although he thinks it was a one off.
I'm obviously going to be concerned at that but I'm glad he was able to come to me.
Do I just let him come to be when he needs to or is this more of a cry for help?
It was quite out of the blue and he's been through anxiety in his early 20s but said he doesn't think that's coming back and he's been really positive for the last few years.

OP posts:
LilacK · 11/06/2024 16:31

I think that now he's opened the conversation, keep it open. Don't just wait for him to say again - ask him how he's sleeping etc. Make sure the conversation is always open.

MILTOBE · 11/06/2024 16:40

That's really tough and must have been awful to hear.

Does he have any specific worries? Is his business making enough money for him to live? Does he work alone or does he have someone to share his work worries with? Does he have friends or a partner?

timeformetime · 11/06/2024 16:51

MILTOBE · 11/06/2024 16:40

That's really tough and must have been awful to hear.

Does he have any specific worries? Is his business making enough money for him to live? Does he work alone or does he have someone to share his work worries with? Does he have friends or a partner?

He's been telling me how well business is going and says he's not worried about anything, it's all very strange.
He lives alone but he has his own home he's proud of and has lots of friends and generally enjoys life.
We've been through everything and he can't pin point any worries or reason why he felt this way all night because the feeling had gone by morning.

OP posts:
timeformetime · 11/06/2024 16:53

I genuinely don't think he was hiding any problems because he was quite literally brain storming what could have possibly triggered these thoughts as if he was confused and concerned.

OP posts:
Mumof3confused · 11/06/2024 21:55

Does he smoke weed?

imworkinglate · 11/06/2024 23:18

It's great he has opened up to you.
Try and talk to him openly op, use the words 'suicidal thoughts.'
Keep that dialogue open, ask him what's keeping him safe, what are his protective factors when he has these thoughts and if he was to have them again.

Casmama · 11/06/2024 23:51

I know it will feel very difficult but you need to keep talking about this and you also need to ask him if he gave any specific thoughts about how he would do it/ if he made any plans. This will NOT put ideas in his head but if he has then it is a clear sign of intent and you should try and get some urgent professional help
To support him.
Worst case scenario is that he feels you overreacted but the opposite is not worth risking.

Casmama · 11/06/2024 23:52

I'm a mental health first aider and have access to some resources that might help find some support if you are happy to let me know a rough area you live in then I can see what I can find

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