to say no to ds

[2shoes]

his mte just rang and ds has asked if he can go down to the marina. I said how you have no money he said he would walk there and back, ok I says (thinking mad boy as it is cold wet and a 2 mile walk each way)
I was assuming his mates were calling for him and they were going together.
No it seems he would be walking there and meeting them.
So I have said no and so has dh as it means he will have to walk through a rough estate all by himself(he stands out a bit as he is a metal head)
ok he is 16 but surely he is daft to want to do that.

He may be daft but surely at 16 he can look after himself walking through the rough bit?

when I say rough I mean ROUGH
this is the estate featured often in the news due to stabbings and god knows what.
I let him do most things he wants but I kind of draw the line at him walking through there on his own.

He's 16, I don't want to worry you further by saying what I was doing at 16 , so I won't.
Bt I am here safe and sound years later.

YANBU

i am a lot more worried since the death of sophie lancaster. if yabu then i am aswell (and i worry about dh, kids not old enough to go out on own yet!)

well if it is rough like the kind of rough estate dp used to live near, then I understand where you are coming from

no I would not let a teenager walk through a very rough estate

I don't think it is unreasonable not to let him walk through a really rough estate especially as it is more than likely that he will have to walk back through it when it is dark.

I have a 14 year old and while I am pretty relaxed about him meeting his friends and catching trains to friends houses, I still want to make sure he is safe. I have had to allow him to be independant as he is 14 and like someone said, I was doing all sorts of stuff at 14 (nothing too bad btw ) but then my parents didn't really care what I was doing.

I see it as my duty as a mum to keep my son safe while allowing him to do what he wants to...within reason.

Could you drive him down to meet his friends and then meet him later (discreetly if thats what he would prefer)?

My son is pretty sensible and would understand if I didn't want him to walk through an unsafe area. Mind you, where we live is what I would class as pretty safe, but you never know.

Ooh I'm dreading the 16 yr old stage. They really are very independant then aren't they!

I thought he was going to be about 8! Having said that I don't think YABU tbh.

he can't get the bus as he has no money. he wspent it all on a game at the weekend.
I am not driving him as I have stuff to do. and he already has me rinning around tomorow afternoone as he doesn't want to get the bus home from school(he has a revision thing at school)
to top it all he has been supposed to be doing course work today. he did it but did the wong bit. so has to do it again.
oh dear he is sulking

tbh if his mates had called for him at 3 oclock and he had asked I would have said yes. go....... but not now it is getting soo cold

has he got a bike?

I'd probably drive him.

if he wanted to go somewhere sensible. for a reason. I would drive hime. but he just wants to go and muck about.
anyway he is doing coursework now.

I think you probably saved him a kicking if he looks different and has to walk through a rough estate. That's just what rough people are like, they beat people up, so why risk it?

I think he's a little old to be told what to do, but clearly needed guidance on this one. Good parenting.

Though I'd probably drive him too... but I give lifts out willy nilly

'Good parenting' wasn't sarcastic by the way, it was genuine. I think you did the right thing.

Also, coursework comes first. Everyone's a winner.

YANBU - I'd have done the same thing

has she still gone riven?!

Yes if he has coursework to be doing then he should. DS1 knows that I can't give lifts willy nilly as we also have a 3 and 5 yr old and DH works away from home Mon to Fri, but I will take him to places if I can or will get friends parents to do pick ups as I do my fair share.