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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DS is a noisy eater

8 replies

Seo333 · 11/06/2024 09:44

He’s only 7 and I’m really torn between trying to coach it out of him or at this point, leaving the poor kid alone and addressing my own issue with it.

I’ve definitely got misophonia, have memories of strong reactions to family members eating loudly since I was around 5/6. I’m now nearly 40, three small children. The issue is even if I could take a pill to cure myself of this (thinking of asking GP for a beta blocker as I’ve read this can help) don’t want him to grow up with bad manners and for it to affect relationships with colleagues, friends, etc. (my brother is a loud eater and I honestly don’t know how his partner copes- I know his MIL struggles with his loud eating. Are some people just incurably loud eaters?!)

DS 7 is our oldest and has inherited his dads breathing system so to speak. He can breathe through his nose but not easily. My other child is only 4 and eats with his mouth closed with no issue, I probably reminded him when he was younger but this comes naturally to him now.

When DS 7 eats, it’s often with his mouth wide open and a gasping sound. When I remind him to keep his mouth closed, he does for a while but honestly it still sounds like he’s going under water! Gasping between chewing and also a kind of groaning as well - his dad does this too - although he tries not to it’s his natural way of eating. it’s really overwhelming to me, and I try really hard to not react because I don’t want to constantly harass him. poor kid. he doesn’t get upset when I remind him, I try to positive about it and he really wants to be polite. But polite eating is short lived.

so what do I do-

YABU - it’s your duty to continue to try to help him be polite - even if you potentially make him feel self-conscious and nagged

YANBU - yes, address your own issues, remind him occasionally but accept he’ll probably be a loud eater and it’s your issue not his.

OP posts:
SwingTheMonkey · 11/06/2024 09:48

Has he seen a doctor about his difficulty with nose breathing?

YANBU, it’d drive me mad. And unfortunately, eating with his mouth open will be seen as bad manners.

Seo333 · 11/06/2024 10:03

It’s not that he can’t breathe through his nose, he’s not congested exactly. It’s just not as easy for him as it is for our other child. His dad is exactly the same. They both suffer with nose bleeds occasionally.
I’m hoping with age he will eat with his mouth closed more consistently. His dad does when we’re in public, and whenever I’m in ear shot as knows the affect it has on me.
I’m just also aware that I’m very sensitive to it and not everyone would notice it as much as me. I was at a kids party recently and the majority of kids were eating just like him- wondered if it’s just normal at this age??

OP posts:
SwingTheMonkey · 11/06/2024 10:07

Yeah I think lots of kids need a bit of a reminder not to eat with their mouths open at this age, my youngest is also 7 and needs reminding sometimes.

Fingers crossed he grows out of it!

hoarahloux · 11/06/2024 11:42

It's not normal to have trouble breathing through your nose to that extent. Does he have a deviated septum? See a doctor.

Bobloblaw84 · 11/06/2024 11:46

Why wouldn’t you have his breathing issues addressed? YABU for ignoring the source of the problem. There’s no point reminding him to close his mouth if he can barely breathe through his nose.

SwingTheMonkey · 11/06/2024 11:47

For what it’s worth, I agree with the above - I’d have it checked out. Mouth breathing can cause problems with teeth and potentially face shape.

Seo333 · 11/06/2024 19:09

Okay thanks, I’ll have a word with the GP about it. He sees the dentist regularly and no issues there. Maybe I haven’t described it well but he can breathe through his nose, just isn’t his default way to breathe

OP posts:
SarahSays1 · 12/06/2024 06:58

@Seo333 please take him to the doctor. Don't mention your miso - I don't think it's relevant here.

If he can't breathe well then he is likely to snore. This, plus his difficulty eating quietly, could affect his future so I would try to address it.

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