To have no idea how to talk to 11yo DS about knife crime- but think I should?

[Acunningruse]

Watching a programme about a 13 year old boy who was stabbed by a group of other 13 year olds in a leafy park on a Sunday afternoon and am filled with horror. It is so shocking but at the same time is far from unheard of now.

DS is 11 and starting secondary school in September. He currently goes to a tiny primary school in our village, is incredibly young for his age and would quite honestly have no idea knife crime exists.

I feel I ought to broach the subject before September (I think?) but I really have no idea where to start.

Any thoughts welcome.

Do you not chat about these stories in the news from time to time? Mine watch news round at school and we talk about these stories at home. He might no more than you think

I think watching the news together and using that as a starting point for discussion is the best way - makes the conversation more natural rather than trying to force the topic.

the key is making conversations about such things the norm so they feel safe talking to you.

No, never. DH and I just get news on our phones and we would tend to discuss anything about children being hurt out of ear shot of DS and younger DD, for fear of upsetting them, but maybe that needs to change. DS is so black and white in his views i honestly don't think he would be able to get his around "why", the extreme nature of it, to stan someone for no reason.

It really does need to change, watching news together or even discussing things shown on newsround should be a norm really, you need open and honest conversations while they are young so you can help them understand the world. If you try and shield them theyl find out all the horrors of the world by themselves and not talk to you about it. Do you not talk about things like the war in Ukraine or happenings in Gaza either? Are you certain he’s not watching newsround at school?

They are aware of the war in Ukraine and that we have some refugee families in our community. Im not sure I fully understand the situation in Gaza myself, let alone be able to distill it for s 7 and 11yo, but any pointers gratefully received.

Assuming (I hope not of course) there is another stabbing and we talk about it, what does that conversation look like? I can't get beyond us all agreeing it is desperately sad, he will ask why, I will say I don't know... then what?

Its worth asking his school if they have anything planned - our year 5 and 6 get a talk from the police each year - we’re also a small rural primary. If they have something like that then you can have more discussions off the back of it.

Also, search google for knife crime education resources and you’ll find loads, something there should give you a starting point.

You don’t have to have all the answers, but obviously you can provide some ideas of how the offender may have a difficult home life, bad influences, think they look cool etc. Then discuss the importance or not getting involved in stuff like that… but your son should no what’s going on (age appropriate to an extent) in the world that he’s growing up in. How is he going to play his part in being a good influence in the world/not getting pulled into the wrong stuff if he’s just ignorant to it. With Gaza start by educating yourself, it’s a huge important thing going on in the world right now. Then chat about it with your family. Some things you can’t explain, and some times bad things happen for no reason, but that’s just the world we live in.

Have a look at the Ben Kinsella Trust, they’ve some great resources for young people around this subject https://benkinsella.org.uk/resources-for-teachers-and-practitioners/ if you look at the resources for teachers and practioners there are then some age appropriate ones that you can have a read of and get some ideas from

You don’t need to have all the answers, you just need to create a conversation. Discuss how some people carry knifes because they think it makes them safer (it doesn’t!), or to try to fit in.

discuss why that’s a bad idea, discuss what they would do if they heard someone in school saying they had a knife.

the key is making it so the conversations about tough subjects come naturally. It doesn’t need to be planned.

It’s worth having these conversations when they are young in an age app level.

My DS is 9, I do work in a youth justice world- but we also live in a sleepy village / town in rural England…. I work in a city with a high knife crime rate and DS is aware that these situations exist. He is also aware that young people have died as a result of knife crime.
In school they watch news round, he’s aware of what’s happening in the world , even just snippets of the radio in the car…

Are there any shows on TV that you watch with them? Mine both liked watching Corrie with me at that kind of age and the storylines often gave us a chance to talk about real world issues but using the characters and storylines.

Google 'knife angel'. I took my then 4 year old to see it and we had a really good conversation and good and bad choices, about friendships and sometimes being brave enough to say no to friends. All 4 year old friendly. I've seen too many children, naive, lovely children be dragged in to gang related situations. News articles are good for sharing and bringing up discussions. Sharing signs of someone grooming them needs to be discussed also. The type of people involved often spot the nice, naive kid and use it to their advantage. One was the sweetest lad and his bank account was being used to launder the money. Poor lad was petrified, family knew nothing please do talk about these things.