to want to send my child to nursery full time

[Tynm]

I've had the absolute worst day with my 1yo
Self employed trying to run a business. Older DS who is 8. I feel like I am juggling a million things at once I am so worn down and dare I say depressed

I feel so guilty for wanting to send her to nursery but feel like it would make life so much easier. I know people say why have kids if you're going to let other people raise them.
But I'm just at my wits end today 😭 am I awful

If you can afford it then do it. Good for you to get some space and good for him/her to socialise with other little ones.

You can’t work with a child. It means you’re not giving either your proper attention and therefore failing at both. I don’t see what is wrong with nursery, everyone I know has used one. Putting a child in nursery is hardly sending them off to boarding school until they’re an adult.

I think you need to decide whether to work full time or look after your 1yr old all day. You have my sympathies, being a single mum of an 8 and 1yr old must be tough, but this isn’t sustainable.

I'm sorry you've had a tough day. Little ones are so, so hard. I'm finally just having dinner after spending 90 minutes settling my screaming nearly-2-year-old because his molars are coming in - poor little guy.

I've sent both of mine (4 and almost 2) to full time nursery since they were 10 months. I don't feel guilty - they're happy and thriving, as am I. If I had to look after them full time, I don't think I'd be happy. (This is absolutely not a comment on other people's choices - everyone feels differently, and also some kids are harder than others!)

This evening was really difficult with both of them, but because I hadn't seen them since the morning I had a well of patience and empathy to tap into that I probably wouldn't have had if I'd been with them all day. I'm grateful I can give them that.

If it's the right choice for you and your family, and you find a setting that you're comfortable with, and you can afford it without too much difficulty - do it. Ignore anyone who says, "Why have kids if you're not going to raise them" -- none of us were meant to raise kids completely isolated! Except where once we had extended family and community, now we have to pay for support, but that does not make it any less valid a choice.

Good luck!

You can't work and look after a child at the same time, if you are working then of course your child should be in childcare

Why on earth would you be a bad person for sending them to nursery? If you work then you need childcare, it doesn't matter who employs you!

If you're working you need appropriate childcare. Don't feel bad they will get lots of attention that they need and you can work properly.

That sounds like a lot OP. If you can afford it then do it, you won't feel as worn out and in turn you'll be a happier mommy for your babies. ❤️

Eh? Of course they need to be in childcare whilst you’re working… It’s not fair on you or and it’s definitely not fair them to try to do both.

Ignore people guilt-tripping you about sending your child to a nursery.

You can’t work and look after a child at the same time.

She will probably love it.

Sounds like you need to send her. Is there a way to compress your days do you could send her 3/4 days a week?

I'm sorry you've had it rough too! Yes that did cross my mind. I have much more patience when I haven't had to deal with the crying all day

Seriously, you have a job. Send your child to nursery.

Next time somebody judges you, ask them how many 1 year olds they have looked after, and what full-time job they also accomplished while doing so. If they haven’t tried it, then they don’t get to have an opinion. Children that age are impossible when you have something else to get on with, and really every adult should know that regardless of their own experience.

Does the 1yo’s dad have to work while looking after a toddler, or does he get to do it uninterrupted?